Posts tagged ‘Chris Christie’

January 26, 2014

The DC Folly Trolley – 01/26/14

Papal Missive Misfires.

According to the latest reports emanating from the Vatican resort Castel Gandolfo, an ecclesiastical letter issued by Pope Francis in which he declares that “all religions are created equal”, is not a forgery as previously believed.

st peter's

St. Peter’s Square, Vatican City, where thousands often gather to receive the blessing of the Pope. (Photo courtesy Staselnik).

In the letter, the Pontiff also stated that the story of Adam and Eve is a myth and the idea of Hell a metaphor.

The words of Francis have been doubted by many Catholics. However, according to a papal nuncio attending the conference of Church hierarchy at which the letter was read, the statement is authentic. Also accurate are numerous reports of the document from various news sources despite errant references to a Third Vatican Council.

Criticism from Catholic groups, including many wealthy donors, has quickly reached an unexpected crescendo. Many devout adherents of the faith are demanding that the Pope retract his words.

Reports are now filtering through to numerous news organizations from an anonymous source believed to be affiliated with L’Observatore Romano, the Vatican equivalent of the NSA, that once the Pope realized the inflammatory nature of his statement and read the accompanying denunciations it had elicited, he concluded that his position as Vicar of Christ had been compromised and he promptly excommunicated himself.

Cardinals throughout the world are at this very moment being called into an emergency conclave to elect a new pope.

In a peroration to the weeping faithful slowly gathering in St. Peter’s Square, Francis ended his short resignation speech with the words: “La dolce vita e finita.”

http://www.naijaurban.com/no-hell-fire-adam-eve-not-real-pope-francis-exposes/

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Committee Announces Award.

breaking

Pasta Fagioli, Italy. Jan. 25, 2014.

The Nobella Prize Committee announced from its hideout in Pasta Fagioli, Italy that it had awarded it latest MVP Prize to former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabbee for his beliefs that Democrats are “telling women they cannot control their libido.”

In a speech during lunch before a Republican Convention, Huckabbeee claimed that Democrats had become a sugar daddy to women who gained contraceptive prescription coverage through Obamacare.

huckabee

The road to the White House is filled with bumps. Huckabee adds a few of his own in a speech before a gathering of influential Republicans.

Democrats, he said, want women to think they’re helpless unless Uncle Sugar provided free birth control because they can’t control their libido without government help.

A member for the committee, who spoke under conditions of anonymity, said he had no problem with women whose libidos were out of control, he just regrets he never met one.

Anyways, for his libidinous statement, Mike Huckabebee was awarded the Most Valuable Putz Prize.

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Winners of The Most Valuable Putz Award receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize.

These exceptional individuals also receive a statuette named the Pubar which is engraved with the words “Putzed up beyond all reason.” Known as the Putzie, the coveted statuette is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard.

The Putzie is given while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winner supplies just ran out.

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Conservative Defends MVP Award.

Conservative CNN Crossfire co-host S.E Cupp claimed to be shocked by the reaction to former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee’s statement declaring that Democrats authorized free birth control prescriptions through Obamacare because women can’t control their libidos.

Referring to criticism of the former governor, Cupp said she had never seen “a lazier, more intellectually dishonest analysis..” Huckabee, she continued, was referring to an attitude on the part of Democrats and not to his own beliefs, an interpretation which many pundits ascribed to the remarks.

By nature of her defense of his luncheon speech, Cupp would most certainly agree that Huckabee is a deserving winner of the Nobella MVP award.

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Obama Gains Among Fundie Christians.

President Barack Obama has been improving his position among fundamentalist Christians.

Yesterday he was the anti-Christ; today he’s merely paving the way for the devilish dervish. For Christians in the know, that change in position represents a huge gain for the president among the Fundies.

Robert Jeffress, fundamentalist pastor of an 11,000 member Baptist church, appeared on Bill O’Reilly’s reality show The O’reilly Factor to sell his new book, Perfect Ending. In which he writes that through implementation of Obama’s policies, people are being conditioned to accept governmental overreach, a condition necessary for the coming of a global world leader, that is, the anti-Christ.

antichrist

Lucky for Obama he’s no longer considered to be the guy in the painting. (Satan as the anti-Christ by an unknown artist).

Jeffress based his conclusions on the Affordable Care Act and the president’s embrace of abortion and related these policies to the coming of the Apocalypse predicted in the Book of Daniel and Revelation.

Well, the end of the world may lie somewhere in the not too distant future. But the Apocalypse probably has more to do with global warming than biblical forecasts.

In either case, Obama must be greatly relieved that he won’t be the doer of that evil deed.

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New Logo For Bayer.

In keeping with a statement by company CEO Marijn Dekkers that Bayer produces drugs only for those who can pay up, the pharmaceutical giant introduced a new logo.

The new logo was designed by an advertising firm in New York at a cost of $7,000,000.00.

According to a spokesperson, the company must limit distribution to wealthy nations in order to earn the huge profits on its investments demanded by stockholders. Consisting largely of the !%, investors insist on perpetually increasing annual dividends or they’ll threaten to take their money elsewhere.

The spokesperson continued that the company’s hands are tied in this matter even though it means signing the death warrants of tens of thousands of victims of a deadly form of cancer.

Bayer is charging nearly $70,000.00 a year for the medication which is used to treat liver and kidney malignancies.

 skull

The attitude of pharmaceutical giants like Bayer proves once again that the 1% put profit above human life and dignity.

A court in India recently granted a license to produce a generic form of the drug that will cost about $180.00.

Bayer intends to fight the decision to the death – of tens of thousands of helpless victims.

http://thinkprogress.org/health/2014/01/26/3205861/pharmaceutical-ceo-cancer-drug-westerners-afford/

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A Bright Star.

Sen. Elizabeth Warren, (D-MA), a bright star in an otherwise dim constellation of Democratic hopefuls for the party’s presidential nomination, spoke to a gathering in St. Peter’s Church in Manhattan recently.

warren

She was joined by New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman who spoke at length about the need for campaign finance reform.

Schneiderman has also been at odds with right wing New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, a self-proclaimed Democrat, over how to divide $613 million in fines paid by JPMorgan Chase in restitution for its mortgage derivatives caper.

Income inequality was also addressed by the speakers which did not include the conservative governor who, it was noted, did not mention in his State of the State report the huge income disparity that has beset the nation’s economy for decades.

cuomo

Right wing NY Democratic Governor Andrew Cuomo got his nose bent out of shape by a gathering of rising liberals at St. Peter’s Church in NYC. The group of speakers, by largely remaining silent on the governor’s policies, obliquely criticized his agenda.

Cuomo is a pillar of the right wing establishment of the Democratic Party whose agenda includes lowering taxes for the wealthy and austerity inducing balanced budgets.

http://readersupportednews.org/opinion2/277-75/21700-elizabeth-warren-got-political-in-new-york-city-last-night

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Second Thoughts.

gwb c

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September 2, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley – 09/02/12

Republicans held their pep rally in Tampa this week. The bonfire had to be cancelled due to inclement weather.

Attendees were asked to check the bulletin board for hospitality suite locations. Those who weren’t already too drunk to read showed up in record numbers at these frat party clones and partied through the night.

At the convention itself, the delegation that threw the most stuff at an African-American camera woman won a prize.

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I tried to read Chris Christie’s autobiographical outline (aka keynote speech) twice. It seems he had really great parents. So what happened?

Christie was supposed to jump up and down kicking his legs high into the air while leading the cheer for Romney. Workman, however, feared the reinforced platform would not support the New Jersey governor. .

Did Christie mention more tax cuts for rich people or did I miss that part?

Paralyzed by the need for love,” gov. I’ve never heard it referred to as that before. Take an extra Viagra.

Have you tried masturbation? .

Maybe he should go on a cat food diet.  Losing weight can improve sex life.   And Chris, dry is healthier than canned. Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Speaking of diets here is the GOP Diet Plan for seniors who live on the average Social ­-­Security check: Dry cat food for breakfast, skip lunch, then a beef flavored doggie bone for dinner.

When Medicare is destroyed and seniors are forced onto Ryan’s Vouchercare, the GOP Diet Plan calls for the elderly to break the dinner doggie bone in half.

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My sources in the Obama campaign are telling me that Joe Biden’s mouth has been duct taped. The action was forced upon Obama’s advisers because of Biden’s statement guaranteeing that Social Security would not be touched. And the next time his says something that the majority of Americans agree with, he’ll be serving a tour in Gitmo.

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Here is a doozie uttered by the right wing extremeist Paul Ryan:  “The method of conception does not change the definition of life.”

The statement occurred in the context of a discussion of rape.  And some people seem to think Ryan was merely repeating scientific truths.

OK, then. Here’s some scientific truth for Ryan to ponder: The method of murder doesn’t change the definition death. And since we all have to die someday, I guess the “method” of death is of no consequence.  Huh!!!

In any case, I cannot imagine a woman who becomes pregnant as the result of a rape considering the act a “method” of conception.

While a pregnancy may occur as a result of this brutal act, considering brutality another “method” for a woman to conceive is, well, inconceivable.

Ryan’s statement is another view into the deep, dark recesses of the Republican mind and another striking example of the GOP’s war on women. This right wing extremeist of course got a free pass from what pretends to be the media in this country.

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 Ann Romney has always been a stay at home mom. And the kids never wanted for life’s goodies. The servants made the chocolate chip cookies. They also popped the pop corn. Ann never could get that right. Like, ya know, all those buttons on the microwave and everything.

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Republicans don’t have a problem with women provided the ladies follow Scripture and obey their husbands in all matters. Oh, and at all times walk five paces behind their spouses as a show of respect for male dominance. Other than that, no problem.

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Romney had a visitation from Jesus in 2008. Jesus told him if he ran for president he would win. Well, Jesus was wrong. Mighty Mitt didn’t even get the nomination.

This time Romney bypassed Jesus and went straight to the Big Guy, God Himself. God told him the same thing. “A few more lies, Mitt, and you should wrap this whole thing up.”

One thing you should know about the Almighty. Before he became God, he was a Catholic bishop.

Religious Alert: The pevious sentence is a reference to child molestion practiced by Catholic priests and covered up by many bishops – the so-called defenders of the faith. They flat out lied and got away with it. Perhaps Romney is living by the example the bishops set. And for these people at least, God approves of lying.  Or so you would think by their actions.  

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NASA’s Wide-field Infrared Survey (WISE) telescope discovered a huge number of supermassive black holes last week. The black holes were previously unknown to exist. NASA engineers focused the device on the Tampa Bay Times Forum, host to the Republican National Convention. The telescope also discovered a number celestial objects known as Hot Dogs for hot, dust-obscured goofballs. These objects, referred to as “goofies”, were also observed in profusion at the RNC.

Read the real article at Huffington Post.  Black Holes: Millions Revealed By NASA’s WISE Space Telescope  

April 29, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley

The Bush tax cuts will cost the nation $14 trillion dollars over the next 75 years.  Military spending – if it is not sharply curtailed – will cost nearly $80 trillion dollars and possibly more.

File:Laughs.gif

The Bush tax cuts and his wars have created a deficit that may yet destroy the nation’s economy – beyond the damage they have already done.  The tax cuts alone are projected to cost the nation $14 trillion dollars over 75 years.  To put that figure into perspective, the Social Security shortfall is set at only $7 trillion dollars over 75 years and the program is expected to pay 75 to 80 percent of promised benefits despite the shortfall.

Those two figures taken together – tax cuts and war spending –  dwarf the Social Security shortfall of $7 trillion dollars over 75 years.

So what is all the panic about:  The nearly $100 trillion dollars of wasteful spending on war and tax cuts or the $7 trillion dollar easily manageable shortfall in Social Security?

Well, if you believe the hogwash being fed to you by right wing extremists and most of the media (that is, the 1%) about the deficit being caused by Social Security, you are being hornswoggled like never before in the nation’s history.

We all know the answer to the deficit problem.  Cut war spending and end the tax cuts.

According to Robert Naiman posting at Common Dreams, the currently proposed trimming of war spending would alone cover the Social Security shortfall.

And, of course, single payer is a permanent fix to the health insurance dilemma the nation now faces.

If you believe the hogwash spewing forth from the 1%, you are ill-formed or very rich.  And to be fair, many of the very rich don’t believe it for a minute either.

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Semi-influential Fox News pundit Moncia Crowley tweeted an apology to Sandra Fluke after the Newser inferred that Fluke might be a lesbian.

On Fluke’s engagement Crowley clawed “To a man?”

Here is the apology she tweeted:

“Regret my tweeted question caused a stir. I certainly & unequivocally apologize to Sandra & anyone else I offended. Not my intention,” as published by Huffington Post.

Nice apology.  The comment is revealing nonetheless.

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Here is a bulletin from the UPW Newsroom:  John McCain is still hanging around Follyland.  He issued a statement accusing President Obama of playing politics with the anniversary of Osama bin Laden’s death.  This nonsense spews from the man who played the prisoner of war card relentlessly.

John, don’t forget to pick up a loaf of bread on the way home.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Obnoxious as ever, House Republicans passed a bill no reasonable person would sign off on.

Republicans will never vote against a measure that helps the 99%.  They will always pass a bill designed to fail, however.  This practice is a common tactic among the GOP and should expose their hypocrisy for all to see.  Unfortunately, too few pay attention and that’s what the Republicans count on.

So the Repubs don’t want the interest rate on student loans to double.  They just want to pay for the difference by gutting preventive health care programs, many of which provide vital care to women, by another $6 billion dollars.

An image of John Boehner at the AT&T National ...

Boehner doing what he does best. An image of John Boehner at the AT&T National golf tournament, July 2009. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Meanwhile, Speaker John Boehner says on CNN’s infotainment show that the cuts proposed by the GOP bill do not represent another assault in the Republican War On Women.

In fact, the House bill represents not only a War On Women, but now a War On Students.

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And this from the New Jersey Hippodrome:  Chris Christie sorta, maybe called Democrats in the NJ legislature liars.  Critical of a Dem plan to pass a 20% tax credit, he said “They’re lying to you.  It’s the oldest scam in the book.”

Christie wants 10% tax cut – one that would accrue mostly to the rich – while at the same time increasing property tax rates – a tax that would fall heavily on the middle class.

The gov from NJ has demonstrated once again that he has a one-size-fits-all right wing hippo mouth along the lines of Limbaugh, Beck, Savage et al.

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Don’t look now, but Paul Ryan, the author of the Republican disaster budget, has disavowed the philosophy of his patron saint Ayn Rand.

File:Ayn Rand.svg

Sadly for this lady, we now realize she got it all wrong.  Most of us do anyway.

Apparently, Randian mythology is beginning to fall out of favor.  Once considered a philosophy, Rand’s Objectivism espoused unbridled capitalism and individual greed as foundations of human society.  More and more Rand’s writings are being recognized for what they really are:  The rantings of a disturbed misanthrope.

I guess such ideas have to be pushed into the background when a depraved politician such as Ryan begins sniffing the air for a vice presidential nomination.

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