Posts tagged ‘Christmas’

April 14, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 04/14/13

Amending The Second Amendment.

According to an undisclosed source, some members of the NRA have proposed an amendment to the Second Amendment.

If it becomes law, the amended amendment will read:  A well-regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to buy and sell arms shall not be infringed.

Which is really what NRA executives mean when they refer to gun rights. You see, they don’t really give a damn about anyone’s right to bear arms. It’s all about buying and selling, profit and greed.


It’s all about the money. Pictured:  a U.S. Silver Certificate, 1896.  .

Hey, if a few kids happen to get in the way, not their problem.


Red State Turns Crimson.

Some residents of Beaufort County, North Carolina complained to a County Commissioner about an article in a local newspaper celebrating National Condom Day. The article was written by a member of the county’s Board of Health.

The righteous citizens were upset because National Condom Day occurs on Valentine’s Day and, as we all know, Valentine is a Saint.

You mean you didn’t know Valentine is a saint. Well, he is.


Vinegar Valentine.

According to the County Commissioner guy, the letter was insensitive and, apparently, an insult to St. Valentine on this holiest of holy days. In a letter to the Health Department, he admonished the group and hoped it would “in the future, exercise good judgment when presenting these subjects that remain delicate and personal to a major part of our population.”

Apparently, for the commissioner and some of his embarrassed constituents, celebrating National Condom Day on St. Valentine’s Day represents an unacceptable confusion of sex and romance.

Holy Rubbers, Batman. Look what I found in my box of Whitman’s Chocolates.


In order to salve the fragile sensitivities of our most delicate denizens, I propose we terminate the celebration of condoms on St. Valentine’s and change the day, instead, to Christmas Eve. I have outlined the proposal below and dedicated it to the people wounded by the insensitivity shown by the Board of Health.

We celebrate condoms on a national day.
Who would’ve thought it could cause a fray.
But in North Carolina some people whine.
It comes on the day for St. Valentine.
So let’s change the day to Christmas Eve.
That’s OK, we can all believe.
Wrapped in brown paper no faux pas to suffer,
A box would make a great stocking stuffer.
So when mommy’s kissing Santa Clause.
And it’s time to take a protective pause.
Reach in the box for the rubber thing.
And have a joyful Christmas fling.

Now isn’t that a lot better?


Six Dimensional Chess.

Hopelessly loyal Obama supporters suggest the president is playing brain games with Republicans.

Spend and spend conservative Republicans intended during the Bush years to flush so much taxpayer dollars down the drain that government would go with the money. The result would be no government except that which protected rich conservative Republicans and their wealth.

Of course, infrastructure would suffer as roads pot-holed, bridges collapsed and airports vanished.

Poverty and hunger would increase and a college education would be impossible for every one to afford except the rich.

Schools would be privatized as would health insurance for the elderly. The interstate highway system would be sold to corporations that would charge dollar a mile tolls.

How would this all come about? By a propaganda campaign to convince Americans that government is bad. That government robs citizens of their money through exorbitant taxes and that if we get rid of government (except for the kind that protects the assets of the rich) we could keep our tax dollars and soon we would all be among the rich.

The conservative message is of course a campaign of lies and you’ve been living in the midst of it for decades. Many Americans are not even aware that such a program exists.  But it seems to have convinced a large number of people that “government is the problem.”

Now here is the Obama brainstorm. After all of the destruction ensues, he surmises Americans will finally be convinced that government serves a valuable purpose and its services should be restored.

It may take a hundred years of suffering, but once the nation is dismantled, the people will cry out for a new New Deal.

And therein lays the genius behind Obama’s budget. Unfortunately, it isn’t six dimensional chess he’s playing. It’s checkers and he’s loaded the Republican side of the board with kings.


If it’s chess he’s playing he’s surrounded himself with Republican pawns and they’re about to pounce.


The Perils of Nancy.

Obama pom-pom girl Nancy Pelosi has taken on sharp right hand turn on Social Security.

She said some time ago that she is willing to vote for Social Security and Medicare benefit cuts in a show of support for the “leader” of the Democratic party. That really is President Barack Obama in case anyone has any doubts.

It appears that the White House strong armed Pelosi into backing its policies by threatening to remove her from her leadership position in the House. And Nancy, always wanting to remain loyal to the apostate in the Oval Office, weakened and then caved.

She should be angry enough to write the off Obama and deny as much party support for the president as she could muster. After all, it was Obama’s deceitful triangulation on the public option that caused the 2010 Election Day disaster and lost Pelosi her Speakership of the House.

Good little girl that she is though, Nancy decided to get behind the president and will ostensibly support his disastrous benefit cuts.

Two pence, four pence, six pence a dollar.
All for Obama stand up and holler.

Poor Nancy.  Obama has her whatchamacallit in a wringer and she can’t get out.  At least not without losing an important part of her anatomy.


Pelosi’s lips are no longer sealed. She is now prepared to support President Obama’s notorious drive to cut benefits for working stiffs, the poor and the disabled. Her sudden right wing turn has absolutely nothing to do with preserving her leadership position in the House. Wink, wink.

However, if she showed some of her former grit she would grab the president by an important part of his anatomy, gather party support around her and try to find some way to drum Obama out of the Democratic party.

Let’s face it.  The guy was useful in helping liberals dump the Romney-Ryan ticket, the worst pairing since Goldwater-Miller in 1964. But Obama has now outlived his usefulness and his policies must be opposed by every member of the party who calls him or herself a Democrat and who still honors the legacy of New Deal president FDR.


Former Prize Fighter Turns Presidential Patsy.

Sen. Harry Reid (Patsy-NV) said there are some very useful measures in President Obama’s budget. And there are, no doubt.

There are also some politically suicidal policies contained therein.  Such as,

Benefit cuts for working people? Yes.

Tax increases for working people? Yes.

Cuts for Federal employees? Yes.

Who does this guy think he’s kidding?


Harry, by the way, was last seen in the Rose Garden of the White House practicing cheers with another Obama pom-pom girl, Debbie Wasserman Schultz.

Obama, Obama, he’s our man.
If he can’t do it, no one can.

The Senate Majority Leader was seen to jump so high that he literally kicked himself in the ass. (Not hard enough, apparently).

Smiling down on the high kicking duo was President Obama, who applauded from the Oval Office window overlooking the Rose Garden.

Harry, however, left the practice session dejected.  Wasserman Schultz informed him that he still wasn’t good enough to earn his pom-poms.


NYT Turns Right.

In a long, slow battleship like arc, the New York Times has finally completed its full rudder maneuver, turned 180 degress and is steaming at flank speed to the right.

At least that’s the case in much of it’s news reporting lately. One such story became particularly noxious when a reporter referred to the right wing Pete Peterson front group Third Way as center-left.

Third Way won’t reveal it’s funding sources but it is apparent that the rich are sending payola its way. Thus the group is nothing more than a Wall Street patsy organization whose members are dedicated to destroying the social safety net and promoting extreme right wing policies that favor the 1%.

Referring to these conservative extremists as center-left without correction is more than a Times oversight. It is an indication that the paper is drifting inexorably to the right.


Dead Kids In War Zone.

Some kids in Afghanistan seem to be getting in the way of Obama’s drone strikes. You think they’d know better by now. I mean, those things can kill ya.

Well, what’s a little “collateral damage” when you’re fighting a war against terrorism.

A dozen kids, Afghan boys who had not reached their teens years, were sent instantly into eternal rest by a U.S. drone strike authorized by President Obama. And they represent only a few innocents of the many killed by misguided attacks.

This sort of “collateral damage” occurs not only in Afghanistan but in Pakistan, Yemen and in all other countries where drone strikes occur.


President Visits Newtown.

The president visited Newtown, CT for the second time to express his condolences to the parents who lost their children in a drone strike mass shooting.

Well, let’s not be too harsh on Obama. He does seem to have some compassion. Doesn’t he?



Cowardly Lion.

While in the United Kingdom, throngs listened to and cheered to the refrain “Ding, dong, the wicked witch is dead” at the news of the death of the now reviled ex-Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, here in the United States we suffer under the delusions of a president who believes it is an act of courage to steal from the elderly and the poor.


And maybe he’s right. After all, doesn’t it take courage to betray your base and the legacy of your party?

Doesn’t it take courage to steal from the poor, especially if they are disabled?

Doesn’t it take courage to let Wall Street bank robbers go free?

Doesn’t it take courage to fail to breakup the too big to fail and to jail the too big to jail?

Doesn’t it take courage to steal lollipops from little kids?


In the mind of the president and the Follyland cocktail crowd, he’s a regular Abraham Lincoln whose stubborn determination will save the nation from its follies.

In the real world, the folly belongs to Obama and his disastrous budget. If that thing should happen to pass, the result will be political suicide for any Democrat who voted aye.

Doesn’t it take courage to commit suicide?

The answer, of course, is no, no and no again. Not even a coward would take such a drastic step.

Not so this president. He is prepared yet again to do historic damage to his party if that is what it takes to achieve his perverse.

He has been upside down, inside out and backwards on so many economic issues that he earns the title cowardly lion, the character from the movie The Wizard of Oz, the same film that brought to the voices of millions of British the refrain they chanted for days after the death Margaret Thatcher.

Will that be Obama’s legacy?