Adjunct Professors Wanted.
The Sardo Institute of Higher Learning has several positions open for experienced adjunct professors in the fields of Mathematics, Biology, Chemistry and the Social Sciences.
Candidates must have a Ph. D. in the relevant field as well as at least three years of teaching experience.
Classes will be assigned to adjuncts on an as needed basis.
Salary commensurate with experience.
Benefits include eligibility for food stamps and government subsidized rent and heating assistance.
Qualified candidates should submit resumes to:Human Resources The Sardo Institute P.O. Box 555 Pasta Fagioli, Italy 55555 5555
Only In America.
We are lending money we don’t have to kids who can’t pay it back to train them for jobs that no longer exist. That’s nuts. Mike Rowe.
It is, however, the American way, largely because that sort of craziness results in massive profits for the only people who really matter – the very tiny minority of the ultra rich.
Right Wing Shaves Bush.
After reading that perhaps as many as 80% of younger women shave, ya know, down there and hearing that right wing media gangbangers shaved Jeb Bush for his comments regarding immigration, I immediately thought something afoul was afoot.
But, alas, Jeb remains hirsute down there.
Jeb Bush trolling for votes by speaking out of the left side of his mouth, has perhaps forgotten the Nixon Shuffle, that is, when seeking the GOP presidential nomination run hard to the right and when campaigning for that high office turn and rush quickly to the center.
The bangers humped all over Bush for his appeal to the Repub Party to reverse, or at least moderate, their harsh position on immigrant status, which is something akin to “throw them the hell out.”
The former Florida governor expressed the view that the Party’s view just won’t cut it any more. This is, like, the 21st century. We don’t round people up and send them back to their masters countries in Dred Scott* fashion.
He was actually sympathetic about immigrants’ situations.
After all, when you’re hungry and your wife and kids are hungry and you have no money to buy food to feed them, you become desperate. So you come to America.
And now a days, you have to be pretty desperate to do that. But everybody’s gotta eat sometime.
So Bush said let’s give them a helping hand and let them stay.
And that’s when the bangers shaved him.
However, according to a leak from the Bush team, Jeb burned the circuits of his cell phone calling the Party’s payola masters and media propagandists to tell them to pay no attention to his words when he speaks. It’s all a campaign lie to hustler Hispanics into voting for him when he runs for president.
Once he’s in the Oval Office, he’ll screw a bunch of immigrants just like he’ll screw everybody else.
*Dred Scott v Sanford was the notorious Supreme Court case in which the Court ruled that slaves were not citizens and could not sue in Federal Court. Scott, the slave who resided in the slave free Wisconsin territory, sued his owner, John Sanford, for his freedom. Chief Justice Roger B. Taney’s name ever since has been infamously tied to the Court’s decision.
If you can convince the lowliest white man that he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on and he’ll even empty his pockets for you. President Lyndon B. Johnson.
Paul Ryan is running for president. He hasn’t declared, but he might as well.
Taking a card from the marked deck of former President Richard Nixon, the Wisconsin pol is dashing hard to the right.
His plan is a right wing wet dream. It cuts trillions in aid for the hungry, the sick, health care for kids and college assistance for those who can least afford it.
It is a budget intended to impress right wing rich extremists who dole out campaign payola like drips of water falling off Niagara.
This media darling is still out ‘dere.
Now a budget that extreme, you would think, would sew up the cash no questions asked.
But wait. Not so fast. There are Republicans so far off the right wing deep end that they are claiming the Ryan budget doesn’t gut enough from the hungry, the sick and little kids.
So Ryan may now be left in limbo, with no suitable budget to impress rich donors.
Now this right wing Wisconsin extremist will have no choice but to go back to the drawing board and serve up yet another Path to Prosperity for Rich People. As if they need another path.
Krugman Praises Obamacare. Not So Fast.
Paul Krugman, Nobel laureate and New York Times columnist, has been praising the benefits of the Affordable Care Act for some time now.
But opinions such as Krugman’s, who is a tireless fighter for the underclasses, must be put into perspective.
The best anyone can say about Obamacare is that it’s better than what went before. But ii is a far cry from what could have and should have been: some form of a public option that eventually morphed into Medicare-for-all.
And for those Obamaphiles who believe the president took the easy way out because of GOP opposition, that’s just plain wrong.
The fact is Obama betrayed his supporters when he bailed on the campaign promise of a public option precisely when the Senate and the House were controlled by Democrats. Reconciliation, the process whereby budget legislation can pass in the Senate by a 51 vote majority, was well within the president’s grasp.
Instead, he sided with the 1%, a decision that crushed Democrats in the 2010 election, cost Nancy Pelosi her Speakership and made John Boehner and the Tea Party dominated House the bane of the American people.
No President Is As Powerful As the Institution He Governs.
There’s a plot in this country to enslave every man, woman and child. Before I leave this high and noble office, I intend to expose this plot. President John F. Kennedy, seven days before his assassination.
Campaign Cash Okay.
A spokesman for Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell told a high school group of sutdents from the Senator’s home state of Kentucky to “get lost.” The Senator was busy phoning donors to raise payola to finance his reelection campaign.
“You see,” said the spokesman who was sipping on a tall glass of Senate lemonade, “one of the most important jobs the Senator has is to make sure he’s reelected so he can continue to serve the rubes from his states. And that means bugging the shit out of donors to send him some more cash.”
“You see,” said the spokesman still sipping on a tall glass of Senate lemonade, “the Supreme Court, bless their little hearts, decided that payola isn’t corruption and the Senator isn’t a crook when he stuffs all that money into his pockets.”
There have probably been bigger screw ups who sat on the Supreme Court as Chief Justice. Roger B. Taney of Dred Scott infamy and the all but forgotten Melville Fuller who gave the stamp of approval to “separate but equal” in Plessy v Ferguson, but Roberts is in the running for worst ever with his Court’s statements that campaign payola equals free speech.
“But sometimes you just have to bug the shit out of rich people to get them to part with their cash. So the Senator calls them several times a week and promises, cross his heart, to vote on legislation exactly the way they tell him if only they’ll just send him some more money.”
“Hell, the Senator will even let them write the damn legislation.”
“You see, that’s the way the Senate works,” the spokesman continued.
“Damn, this is one fine glass of lemonade. It’s the Senator’s favorite, don’t cha know”
.Though the wealthy will publicly cheer Very few will break out the beer. They’ll stow the champagne ‘Cause every campaign Will for sure want more cash so they fear. . The Supremies just said it’s okay. To take cash and stuff it away. It’s all just a game And no one’s to blame. So take the cash to help costs defray. *** Limerick Lunacy. . A fellow got into a scrap With a gal who gave him a slap. She hit his shocked face Then sprayed him with mace. When he graced her backside tap, tap, tap. . A woman decided to scrap A guy she couldn’t entrap She grabbed up her rings Among other things While the guy took an afternoon nap. . When the gal decided to scrap The guy who was taking a nap. She packed up her things And then took to wings And thought, “Finally I’m out of the trap.” ***
The Case Of The Absent-Minded Surgeon.
No he didn’t leave a tool inside the patient; he forgot to take something out.
So what’s wrong with fooling around. It can help you to get unwound. But this doc went too far With a nurse in OR And what happened next would astound. The appendix this doc couldn’t find. It appears the nurse blew his mind. So he pulled up his britches And sewed up the stitches And left the appendage behind.
Article thanks to Mad Kane whose limericks can be found at her website.