Posts tagged ‘Elizabeth Warren’

December 1, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 12/01/13

A Bear For Dinner.

As governor of Alaska, former defeated GOP VP candidate Sarah Palin was set to pardon some turkeys at Thanksgiving when an unidentified aide whispered in her ear that all turkeys were Democrats. She discontinued the practice immediately because she never knowingly pardoned a member of the opposing party.

When she was informed that all Republican politicians are turkeys Palin peremptorily pardoned all fowl.  She then went into the wilds, shot an Alaskan brown bear, stuffed it and served it for Thanksgiving dinner.

sarah and bear

Sarah and the bear dissing Piers Morgan. (From Facebook).

Remember When Sarah Palin Thought This Interview In Front Of A Turkey Massacre Would Be Smart?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/25/sarah-palin-bear-piers-morgan_n_4164062.html

***

A Sick Country.

If we started in 1960 and we said that as productivity goes up…then the minimum wage is going to go up the same, the minimum wage today would be about $22 an hour. With the minimum of $7.25 an hour, what happened to the other$14. It certainly didn’t go to the workers.” Sen. Elizabeth Warren.

There is a sickness upon the land. It is called greed and corruption.

*** 

No Shave November.

The 11th month of the year is a time when you can stop shaving for thirty days.  Yes, it’s really OK.  And not just for men.

Many people think shaving is a burden borne only by men since most scrape their faces with sharp stainless steel blades every morning.

The ritual is however practiced by women who routinely shave several of their body parts while bathing or in the shower.

So if they participate in the no shave month they will grow hair in places that have not seen it in years and also take a brief respite from the daily chore.

Alas, with the arrival of December comes not only the eager anticipation of Santa and his eight tiny reindeer, but also the return to that noisome task of shaving every day.

In keeping with the tradition of “taking it off” in the month known for shopping frenzy, the Sardo Institute has declared December World Shave Month.

In honor of the occasion, Professor Mangiapasta Bacciagalupe, Poet Laureate Emeritus Summa Cumma Louder, will deliver an ode to mark the festivities.

Below is a transcript of the Professor’s contribution:

(Warning: Persons offended by sexually explicit material should skip the following entry. You must be over the age of 18 to continue reading the post. That’s because it gets really, really dirty).

A woman did it on a dare.
Shaved off all her pubic hair.
Here’s a story not oft’ told.
Soon she caught an awful cold.
‘Cause now it gets real chilly there.
.
If you think this story dumb
‘Bout the gal shaved ‘neath her bum.
It’s true I say in total sum.
For now she’ll sneeze instead of cum.
.
‘Cause ‘tween her legs strange noise emits
Whenever atop a man she sits.
What was that,” the guys would shout.
Something’s odd down there no doubt.”
.
I shaved it off because it pleases.”
Now poor thing it always sneezes.”
Beware, true words we shall not flout.
As stranger things soon came about.
.
Her shaved bottom had no match..
The cold it caught all could catch.
The guys she slept with were made fools.
For all a cold had gripped their tools
Which sneezed and sneezed while in her snatch.
.
This story’s true, you can believe.
It’s not my purpose to deceive.
So now you know you must beware
That when you shave your pubic hair
You cannot know what you’ll receive.
.
So now please take this sound advice.
Keep it trim and looking nice.
For if you shave it smooth as ice,
You then must pay a frightful price.
.
A cold down there can really bite.
You’ll have to hide, stay out of site.
So if your tempted, best think twice.
A little hair can well entice.
.
A cold no drug can ever cure.
A cold down there you must endure.
So don’t expose it to a breeze
That’s when it will likely sneeze.
So stay you must behind closed door.
.
When at last you do come out
Do not shake it all about.
For friends will no doubt quickly shun you.
They’ll fear a cold be catching from you.
And think of you an awful lout.

.

three in one

Three in One, sculpture by Paul Richer (1849-1933).  Do they or don’t they?  Kinda looks like they do.

Well, you can’t say I didn’t warn you.

***

Running Scared.

He’s scared. He’s real scared. In fact, he running scared.

The Tea Party is backing a candidate in the Republican race for the Senate and they’re are going after Mitch McConnell.

You would think the Tea Party money bags would be satisfied with McConnell’s performance. After all, he’s the man most responsible for the blockade of that one august body. He’s the man who make of it a laughingstock. He may well be the most extremist GOP leader in the Senate’s history.

mich

Damn, those suckers are squeezin’ hard.

Yet the Tea Party is out to get him and McConnell is running scared.

Mitch will win the primary. And more than likely retain his Senate seat. But the challenge is a warning to all others: Do what the big money tells you to do or else.

***

Sarah Palin: Career Change.

Sarah Palin has changed careers from politician telling jokes to comedian telling politician jokes.

In an interview on Today, the perennial TV talk show guest described her version of an alternative to Obamacare.

Here is what Lady Sarah had to say:

The plan is to allow those things that had been proposed over many years to reform a health-care system in America that certainly does need more help so that there’s more competition, there’s less tort reform threat, there’s less trajectory of the cost increases, and those plans have been proposed over and over again.”

Sounds to me like she’s describing the right wing Heritage Foundation’s idea of a health care plan, otherwise better known as Obamacare.

She then babbled:

And what thwarts those plans?  It’s the far left.  It’s President Obama and his supporters who will not allow the Republicans to usher in free market, patient-centered, doctor-patient relationship links to reform health care.”

Now that’s a statement straight from Planet Palin, an orb known to exist in the farthest reaches of the universe. And that’s really “out ‘dere.”

Hello, Sarah? Sarah, are you there? Come in Sarah.

Houston, we have a problem. Sarah Palin is lost in space.

missing sarah

Missing Sarah.

Forward Progressives — Train Wreck: Watch Sarah Palin Embarrassingly Try to Explain Her Alternative to “Obamacare”

***

Something’s Wrong with Pope Francis.

There must be something wrong with Pope Francis. He’s acting like a Christian. Not even popes can be accused of taking such an out of character step as Francis just did.

In his first major publication, the Holy Father decried what is more commonly called vulture capitalism, that is, the unfettered brand that cruelly places profit, profit and more profit ahead of the welfare of mankind.

A headline in The Guardian read: “Pope Francis understands economics better than most politicians.”

That statement of course is exactly wrong about politicians. They understand. They know all too well. The Pope is merely speaking the truth. As for politicians, they’re too involved in the payola chase to admit that the Pontiff is speaking truth to power.

And the right wing is already up in arms. The conservative Accuracy in Media director Cliff Kincaid has criticized the Pontiff for releasing Evangilii Godium or Joy of the Gospel, a document in which the Pope called trickle-down economics “a naive theory that has never been confirmed by the facts.”

Unfairly and by inference, Kincaid tainted the Pope’s writing by associating it with Marxism. Nothing really new in that attack though. The right has always made it a point to call a “communist” anyone who disagrees with their way of life.

pope francis

To the right wing, he’s a Marxist; for the rest of us, a populist Christian.

Francis’ statement however is absolutely true.

The term “trickle-down economics” is nothing more than a right wing propaganda contrivance intended to convince the working class that the upward distribution of wealth benefits all who work for a living. That of course is nonsense.

The same can be said of the phrase “a rising tide lifts all boats.” To benefit from a rising tide, you first need a boat. For a rising tide can drown all who are left to die on the shoals of economic life.

The Pontiff’s advocacy of economic justice is not a call to Marxism despite the fact that right wing propagandists are hard at work demeaning the Pontiffs statement as influenced by the nineteenth economic philosopher.

The new world economic order that Kincaid accuses Francis of advocating for is not the order that is already well established on this woe begotten planet

The new reality that infests the global economy is one that the conservative spokesperson turns a blind eye to.  Right wing corporate pirates and their accessories to the crime have gone to great lengths to make the world economy a source of unimaginable wealth for themselves and one of misery, and even death, for billions of human beings.

Somebody got to the Pope,” writes Muslim scholar Reza Aslan. “It was Jesus. Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin would call Jesus a Marxist.”

If the Pope does not desist from his message of economic justice, the titans of vulture capitalism will be out to get him and by any means necessary. First will come the typical right wing propaganda barrage. Next who knows. Possibly an attempted assassination, first as a warning shot, and then the real thing.

No reasonable person can doubt that the monsters on Wall Street and the masterminds of global corporations will let anything or anyone stand in their way.

After all, they’ve already got the president of the United States in their back pocket.

Conservative activist: Pope Francis exposed the ‘Marxist problem’ inside the Catholic Church | The Raw Story

Muslim scholar Reza Aslan: Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin would call Jesus a ‘Marxist’ | The Raw Story

***

Plans After The White House.

What to do? What to do? ‘Tis a puzzlement.

What does a president do after leaving the White House besides getting filthy rich?

Apparently one of the First Daughters will have a say in the matter.

Will Sasha choose to stay in DC or move back to Chicago? Stay tuned. The gaggle of media reporters is hot on the story.

comic obama

The leader of the pack: Obama, Obama, Obama and Obama, LLP.

Either way, as a former prez, Obama can rent offices on K Street and establish a lobbying firm and call it Obama and Obama as he teams up with the First Lady.

Both would make superlative lobbyists-to say nothing of millions of bucks-appealing to Democratic Congressional critters to pass legislation favorable to Republican clients.

Later, as the daughters graduate from law school, the firm would change its name to Obama, Obama and Obama; then to Obama, Obama, Obama and Obama.

Wait till the grand kids start joining the firm.

Only in America.

***

Paul Richer was a French anatomist, physiologist and teacher as well as a sculptor. The backside of his sculpture above is below.

three in one rev

September 30, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley – 09/26/12

Committee Awards Prize.

From it’s hideout in Pasta Fagioli, Italy, the Nobella Prize Committe announced the recipient of its most coveted award. Scott Brown, Republican Senator from Massachusetts, is the most recent winner of the Schmuckup Prize.

Brown won for his staff’s ridiculing the Cherokee heritage of Senate opponent Elizabeth Warren. The staff shouted war hoops and used the tomahawk chop in its demonstration against the Democratic candidate.

The Nobella Committee also learned that Brown and his staff prepared a celebration later in the day and invited the GOP Senate and House leadership to participate in the festivities.

A war dance was scheduled with Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell playing the tom-tom.  Speaker John Boehner was expected to bring feather headdresses and tomahawks. The celebration had to be canceled, however, when McConnell suffered a bullshit stroke.  He realized the GOP message just isn’t working anymore.

Despite the cancellation, the Committee felt Brown was entitled to the prize and offered its hearty congratulations to the senator for his win.

File:BedfordMuseumTomTomDrum.JPG

A ceremonial tom tom.

Winners of The Schmuckup Prize receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize.

In addition, winners are given the coveted statuette called The Little Schmucky engraved with the words “Schmucked up beyond all reason.” The Little Schmucky is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard. All prizes are awarded while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winner supplies just ran out.

***

Here is a bulletin from the UPW newsroom!!!

BREAKING! BREAKING! BREAKING!

News outlets reported again that Fox News told the truth. At this point, UPW has no confirmation of the reports. But correspondents from UPW are following up and checking sources.

More on this story as details become available.

***

After consulting with several fact checking organizations, UPW cannot confirm that the Republican Party propaganda organ, sometimes referred to as Fox News, did in fact tell the truth.

***

Fashion designers have implemented a new feel-good size range for full-bodied women. The sizes are very tiny, tiny and small. OK, so they fudged a little. But you gotta admit it makes you feel good.

***

The so-called Red States lead the nation in food stamp subsidies. Guess they’re sick and tired of people going hungry – and that includes themselves and their children.

So they accept the food stamps, eat and watch a NASCAR race, then vote to have their food stamps taken away. Just hard to figure some people out.

File:NASCAR practice.jpg

NASCAR: Watching cars go in circles really, really fast.  Then praying for a violent crash and hoping nobody gets killed.   

***

Hey, what’s wrong with a little starvation when it’s within your power to deny a woman her right to have an abortion or access to birth control? Ask most any media preacher. He’ll tell you. Starving’s OK when you’re doing the Lord’s work.

And be sure to keep those donations coming. After all, those TV preachers – almost entirely right wing conservatives –  are doing the Lord’s work too, don’t ya know.  Besides private jets and backyard runways cost a lot of money these days. And country club fees just keep going up.  

Donations don’t grow on trees, ya know.

***

A Republican senator blocked a bill in the Senate Veteran Affairs Committee that would grant a cost of living allowance for vets’ disability benefits.

This little piece of stupidity falls under the “you’ve got to be kidding me” category. Of course, we are talking Repubs here and no doubt they powwowed together, drew straws and picked the unlucky guy who’d screw the vets.

But it’s a secret so no harm done. Under one of the most ignorant legislative rules in the history of the body, a single senator can block a measure because of a unanimous consent requirement. And he doesn’t even have to reveal his name. That little piece of stupidity falls under the “you’ve got to be kidding me” category.

However, and only after heavy criticism and the fact that Repubs remembered that this is an election year, Sen. Richard Burr (R-NC) announced that the issue had been resolved and the bill would be released from committee.

The statement coming from Burr’s office raised suspicions that it was the cowardly senator from NC who blocked the bill in committee.

Republicans should not be discouraged however. They will now have an opportunity to vote against the legislation on the Senate floor. Their names will be recorded though so they will probably try to delay a floor vote until after the election when they can kill the bill with impunity.

Hypocrisy unbounded from the “support the troops” gang. People actually vote for these creatures.

Only in America.

***

That former wrestling mogul Linda McMahon is running for the Senate in Connecticut again. Some people you just can’t get rid of.

Well, she’s in the news because she proposed a sunset for Social Security. That is, you set a date and vote whether to continue or kill it. No doubt how McMahon would vote. Kill it for sure.

She also wants to raise the retirement age and means test to eliminate wealthy people like her who already detest the program and want desperately to destroy it. Means testing just gives the rich another excuse to get rid of it. Not that they really need an excuse.

***

According to Clare McCaskill (D-MO), her opponent in the Senate election Todd Akin is so wacko right wing he makes Michele Bachmann look like a hippie.

File:Multiple piercings and tattoos.jpg

You can pierce and tat just about anything anywhere.  (Wiros from Barcelona, Spain).  

A report from UPW News Senior Political Analyst Marcy Popindick indicates that Bachmann may have once been a hippie. There are persistent rumors that Bachmann has a tattoo and a piercing. The tattoo is on her ass. No word about the location of the piercing. Ouch!

***

The polls are going from bad to worse for Mitt Romney. But let’s not judge the guy too harshly. Just because he dissed 47% of the population of the entire nation is no reason not to vote for him – at least according to some unidentified woman known only as Ann.

Besides, nobody believes polls anyways. Right Ann???

***

According to polls, voters gave higher approval ratings to George W. Bush than they are giving to Mitt Romney.  

That factotum gives rise to speculation that stupid can only get just so stupid and then it stops. Hope really does spring eternal, Even stupidity has its limits.

On the other hand, I wouldn’t count on it. Better to go vote.

On the other hand, if you’re still wondering who to vote for, stay home. 

.

***

Too soon to light up the stogie

Remember the wisdom of Yogi

It ain’t over till it’s over

There is no four leaf clover

Don’t vote and you’ll score a bogey.

***

So you still think the Republican deficit issue isn’t a hypocritical lie???  Check the chart.  The really, really big time spenders are – drum roll please – the Republicans.




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