Posts tagged ‘Family Research Council’

February 23, 2014

The DC Folly Trolley – 02/23/14

Hallelujah! He’s A Comin’

The Lord he’s returning to an earthly existence. You better believe it ’cause it’s in the Bible. Revelation to be exact.

He’s coming back and, by God, he’s a packin’ heat. An AR-15 in one hand and an AK-47 in the other. And their both just a blazin’ away.

revelation

John Patmos, the author of Revelation, knew nothing of AR-15s. Nevertheles he depicted a bloody retribution for all but the few faithful when the Son returned to reclaim the Earth from the sinful. (Painting by Matthias Gerung 1500-1570, Wikimedia).

So saith Lt. Gen. (Ret.) Jerry Boykin, now an executive vice president of the Family Research Council.

According to the former general, not only is the Bible the literal word of God. So is the Second Amendment.

Well, okay, maybe not the literal word of God. But the idea does literally come from Jesus Rambo Christ. Nevertheless, Jesus loves the right of the people to keep and bear arms, to say nothing of buying and selling them.

By the way, if you don’t have an AR-15, better go buy one. The Lord wants you to have it. And it’s an easy way to get yourself saved. Or born again, if you aren’t already. And while your waiting for the Coming, you can have some fun shootin’ up trees and stuff.

The latest Follyland rumors about Boykin pertain to the rejection of his nomination for the Putzie Award by the Nobella Prize Committee. A spokesman for the Committee maintained that nominees for the prize must possess at least some modicum of sanity. The general was disqualified on that basis.

http://gawker.com/ex-u-s-general-jesus-is-returning-to-earth-with-an-ar-1526260312

***

Rush To Serve In Vietnam.

Not likely.

When some doctor gave Rush Limbaugh his draft physical and said bend over and spread ’em, Rush could hardly contain his joy. You see, he had a pimple on his tail bone for which he would receive a 1Y classification, later changed to 4F, and exempting him from serving in the armed forces due to a physical condition.

limbaugh

(Ian Marsden from Montpellier).

The pimple is called a pilonidal cyst or boil, a minor condition which can be relieved and cured by draining – a treatment Rush neglected to seek at the time of his physical which was conducted by a private physician on the basis of whose report, Rush received the exemption.

He says he didn’t even know it was there. But, save for the now infamous butt boil, Rush might have been able to serve his country in the Vietnam War and become a military hero – or coward which is the more likely scenario.

In any case, he eventually became the quintessential chickenhawk or someone with a yellow streak down his back who sought every means possible to avoid military service duing the Vietnam era and who is now harshly critical of persons who prefer peace before war.

http://www.examiner.com/article/rush-limbaugh-dodged-vietnam-draft-due-to-a-boil-on-his-rear-end

http://www.snopes.com/military/limbaugh.asp

***

Racism In Greenville. Again.

Would that be Greenville, South Carolina? Or maybe Greenville, North Carolina?

Nope. Wrong on both counts.

It’s Greenville, Michigan.

green mi

(Historic District, downtown Greenville, MI. By Andrew Jameson).

Seems some Republican in that woe begotten GOP ruled state exhaled.

And whenever a Repub exhales you get more than a blast of bad breath. You can usually count on at least one dumb remark. And it’s very often a racist one.

And that is exactly what issued from the mouth of this babe in – yes, Greenville, Michigan.

It seems that wherever there’s a Greenville there is at least one racist Repub and probably many more.

So this guy says it’s time to turn Detroit into an Indian reservation.

No. Really. He really said that. You can look it up.

Who was the guy? It was Republican County Director L. Brooks Patterson. And he wasn’t talking about a Native American reservation.

Anyway, this intellectually challenged Repub has nothing to fear since he no doubt lives in a safe district and will be reelected in a landslide. In Greenville. In Michigan. Hmmmmm.

In a related matter, the Nobella Prize Committee rejected Patterson’s nomination for the Putzie Award. The Committee cited a rule that requires a candidate to possess some semblance of sanity to be considered for the prize.

http://www.greenvillegazette.com/disgusting-republican-says-most-racist-thing-weve-ever-heard/

***

MSM Ignores News. That’s News???

Maybe it’s the fact that the news is occurring in North Carolina and the MSM has a soft spot in its heart for the state, so it’s turned off and tuned out to events in the tenth largest among the 50.

Or maybe it’s because the state is now ruled entirely by Republicans for the first time since Reconstruction.

But whatever the reason, the media has failed to report the ongoing and popular Moral Monday protests that have been organized and

conducted on a regular basis in the GOP entrenched red state.

There is also a mysterious silence on the Duke Energy coal ash dump into the Dan River.

Perhaps the media fears Republican retribution if it reports honestly on the protests and Duke dump which poured massive amounts of arsenic laden coal ash that settled in layers on the river bottom.

Perhaps the media was satisfied that the state Department of Environment ordered Duke not to do that anymore. Or that it fined the power company $100,000 for its carelessness –

Perhaps it has something to do with Gov. Pat McCrory’s 28 year tenure at the power company. Or the favorable treatment Duke receives throughout the state from Repubs and Democrats alike.

Whatever the reason, the media is keeping its hand off both the protest movement and the toxic coal ash dump.

http://mediamatters.org/research/2014/02/20/report-network-news-ignoring-toxic-coal-ash-spi/198149

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College. A Raw Deal?

College is becoming an arena for the privileged only. The kids are being scammed by the banks, the loan servicers and the colleges themselves.  Here’s a suggestion from Sen. Elizabeth Warren to help ease the heavy debt burden graduates are buried under when they finally reach the job market.

http://www.salon.com/2014/02/22/

just_say_no_to_college_why_its_the_worst_

decision_a_young_american_can_make/

***

Dinosaurs In Paradise.

dino

https://www.facebook.com/Antitheists

Researchers at the Sardo Archaeological Institute are disputing the claim by Creationists that male tyrannosaurs did not masturbate.

The reason given for their Onanistic shortcomings by fundamentalist theologians is that their arms were too short.  

In the scientists’ report, however, they  noted that dinosaurs had very long, you know, thingys.

The length has been estimated by nineteenth century biblical authorities to be between 1-3/4 to 2-1/2 giraffe necks based on interpretations of evidence found Genesis 51: 48-69.

Archaeologists noted that a thingy of this length could facilitate masturbatory activity. 

No word in the Bible on how females relieved their pent up sex tensions. 

 ***

Limerick Lunacy.

A woman whose life was fast-paced
Often her car keys misplaced.
She frowned and she fretted
Through sweater she sweated
As often to the office she raced.
.
A woman whose life was fast-paced
Was chaste though she often was chased.
One night on a bender
She’d finally surrender.
Of the good life she’d had a foretaste.
.
The woman whose life was fast-paced
 Her old ways she’d finally displaced.
 She soon took to bedding
 Without ever fretting
 As guy after guy she replaced.
 .
 A fellow who frequently paced
 Was upset that he was replaced
 By a new guy in town
 And so he would frown
 “I’m in no mood now to be chaste.”
 .
 A fellow who frequently paced
 Soon found his life was debased
 For a girl he went shopping
 So he started bar hopping
 Got drunk and he stripped ‘neath the waist.
 .
 A fellow was working with paste
 That he knew to be rye whiskey laced.
 He’d baste beef while roasting
 Then tasting and toasting
 Till his brain he’d completely erased

 

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November 4, 2011

The Folly Trolley

Facebook Raids Panty Column. Claims Crotch Exposure Too Risque For FB Members. Squelches Article.

Love the little number called The Bow Back Lace Thong. It’s really cute. The color is to die for. Itches a little though.

Gives me some ideas for a designer jock strap. Sequins anyone.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost.

.

A jockstrap viewed from the side.

That thar thang is a jock strap.  Could use a little sprucin’ up don’t ya thank?


thong

Image via Wikipedia

That thar is a thong.  Best not get your thangs and your thongs mixed up.  That goes double for football players.

***

Tony Perkin, president of the Family Research Council (FRC) and CNN pundit today awarded deadbeat dad Joe Walsh (who in addition to being a deadbeat is also a Repub. Congressman from Illinois) a 100% rating for his unconditional support of families for all families except his own. The FRCins gave the deadbeat the True Blue Member of Congress award for supporting family values.

For the FRCins, stiffing your own kids is of no consequence. The FRCins are a very understanding group as is readily apparent by the presentation. After all how can a deadbeat dad provide for his own kids’ needs after he’s just spent some heavy bucks on a vacation on the Italian Riviera with his new girlfriend. Yes, indeed. Very understandable. Right, FRCins. Next award from the family values organization is sure to be “Let’s Give Deadbeat Dads a Break.”

***

Don’t look now but Nancy Pelosi has just become a Blue Dog Democrat, what I call a BS Dem, BS for Backstabber. She said the other day that cuts to the social safety net may be necessary if the rich – like Nancy Pelosi – are to pay higher taxes. What she means of course if taxes for the wealthy are raised a tinsy winsy bit, the 99% must chip in a boatload.

.

Pelosi and Obama before they stabbed each other in the back.

Pelosi and Obama before they stabbed each other in the back. Image via Wikipedia

Pelosi now joins other backstabbing Democrats ala Barack Obama who will gladly diminish the social welfare of the vast majority of Americans so the rich can skate.

I wonder who whispered in her ear? The right wing White House no doubt. Play ball on this one Nancy or you get no support from us – the Russ Feingold treatment no doubt.

It seems the only politicians the White House strong arms are the liberals.

***

Have you heard? Republicans want to tax the poor to help save the rich who are so overburdened with taxes they might have to reduce the protection money they pay to the mobsters in Congress. That’ll be the day.

***

Republicans are complaining about wasteful spending. One of the projects they called wasteful was a turtle tunnel in Florida. Sounds a little weird, a turtle tunnel.  But not so fast.

The turtle tunnel saves the lives of turtles who would otherwise  cross a highway that divides two lakes. I would imagine the tunnel saves the lives of thousands upon thousands of turtles every year and quite possibly eliminates a road hazard.

In any case the tunnel represents the kind, humane and gentle nature of mankind.

There is a dark side to humanity. It is on view in the photo that accompanies the article.

Republicans

McConnell is a species unto himself. Scientists need to analyze his DNA to determine exactly where along the evolutionary scale he belongs. If I had to venture a guess I would say somewhere below the insects. 

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

***

NASA says if life exists on Mars it is probably underground. When they dig, I hope they don’t find oil. We’ll send troops if they do.