Posts tagged ‘God’

March 24, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley

Rick Santorum is apparently enamored of the practices of the devout Catholic organization known as Opus Dei or Work of God. Many members of this religious group devote their lives to emulating the suffering of Christ. Some adherents place spiked chains between their thighs to induce pain and so to demonstrate devotion to their crucified Savior.

Why, I even heard that some devotees employ whips, chains, constraints and other pain inducing devices to demonstrate their love.

Of course, I could be mistaking Opus Dei with other organizations I hear about from time to time. Then again, maybe not.

Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum (right) los...

Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum (right) lost a friendly football bet to Massachusetts Sen. Ted Kennedy. Here Santorum wears a Patriots hat and presents Kennedy and his staff with Philly cheesesteaks. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

OH MY GOD!!!  He’s a gambler!  Wave goodbye to the Bible Belt, Rick.


Well, kids get rid of your hoodies and loosey jeans and buy you some suspenders.

I’m not African-American. I’m Italian. But a coupla days in the sun and I could get shot if I happen to be taking a walk in Florida.

And thanks for the tip, Geraldo. But don’t you think your comment will be bad for the hoodie business.

File:Geraldo Rivera.jpg

Great for suspender sales, but what about the hoodie business. Better start divesting.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

And here’s a tip from me. Next time you plan to go to Florida, practice your fast draw for a few days. I mean, who can tell, someone could mistake you for a drug dealer and you’ll be pushing up daisies in an orange grove. And it will all be your fault.


The scuttlebutt around the Street is Jon Corzine mislaid a couple billion dollars. Hey! A billion here, a billion there. Who can keep track?

Jon Corzine, Governor and former Senator from ...

Oh, shit. Where did I put that damn billion anyway?. Jon Corzine, Governor and former Senator from New Jersey. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

By the way, Jon, could you see your way to lending me a fast mil.  I gotta fill up my SUV this weekend.

OK if I keep the change?


Rick Santorum’s wife said this week that God is calling him to be president.

UPW’s Senior National News Correspondent Marcy Popindick intercepted a voice mail message from God to Santorum. (She did it in the United Kingdom so it’s OK; at least according to the policeman she bribed).

A transcript of the tape revealed the following recording:

Hello? Hello, Rick? God here. Answer the damn phone. I wish you’d keep your cell turned on. It’s a real pain in the ass trying to reach you. I’m not into all this texting bullshit, ya know. And it can be real distracting when you’re flying through all these clouds we’ve got up here.

I just want you to know you’ve got my vote, guy. Now don’t screw this thing up. The Empire needs you. You get elected, appoint a couple more Catholics to the Supreme Court and there’s a pope waiting in the wings who can run the whole planet. I gotta plan you haven’t seen since the popes fucked up the Crusades. This time it’ll work. And I’m talkin’ the whole planet here not just the Holy Land.

And keep you cell phone turned on. I hate this goddam voice mail . I can’t get a hold of anyone anymore. Not even the pope. Such bullshit you never heard:

‘Pax vobiscum. This is Pope Benedict the XVI. I’m either on the phone or taking another piss. Leave a message and I’ll call back as soon as I’m finished.’

You believe that shit. And I’m God for chrissakes.”

File:Popemobile passes the White House.jpg

Yes, there is a popemobile. With his money, he couldn’t do a little better?

November 26, 2011

Biblical Oddities

Biblical oddities offer surprise, provoke wonder and stimulate thought. Even if you don’t believe there are enough items of interest in this best seller of all time to make perusal a fascinating journey.

Here’s one everyone should like. It is somewhat sexual in nature and involves a place called Gilgal.

After the Israelites escaped from bondage in Egypt the practice of circumcising young males ended. When the tribes crossed the Jordan River, Joshua revived the practice.  At a place named “The Hill of the Foreskins” all males, young and old, underwent the minor surgical procedure and by doing so renewed the covenant made between God and Abraham. (Joshua 5)


The Prophet Balaam and the Ass, by Rembrandt v...

The prophet Balaam by Rembrandt. Image via Wikipedia

One of my favorites is the tale of the talking donkey. No, this was not a case of Dr. Doolittle talking to the animals.

It’s the story of one Balaam who became angry at a stubborn donkey. The animal saw the angel of God blocking the road and refused to move. Balaam beat the donkey repeatedly until God had it speak.

What have I done that deserves your beating me three times,” the animal said.

Without wonder or amazement at the talking donkey Balaam replied: “Because you have made me look like a fool.” (Numbers 22: 21-34).


A tale in Exodus that has some modern day application, implies that the fetus has an inferior status to a person.

The story tells of a law that punishes two men who are fighting and who injure a woman during the altercation. If the woman dies the man who causes the injury shall be executed. If, however, the woman is pregnant and suffers a miscarriage, the man shall only be fined.  Recent attempts to pass laws affording full person status to the fetus would seem to contradict the Bible.  (Exodus 21: 22-23).


The Ten Commandments are listed in Exodus 20. Although Avarice is counted among the Seven Deadly Sins, the sin of Greed is not listed among the prohibitions of the commandments. Proverbs 15:27 however carries this warning: “He that is greedy of gain troubleth his own house….”


This proverb made me think of Washington, DC. “If a man enjoys folly, something is wrong.” Proverb 15:21 was certainly a harbinger of the follyland that our nation’s capital has become.


Saul – a nonbeliever and perhaps even a persecutor of Jesus – converted to belief after suffering what scholars believe may have been a stroke during a journey to Syria. After imagining a conversation with God he underwent a conversion to become a believer. When friends nursed him back to health he pursued the life of a proselytizer. In fact, Saul, who is referred to as Paul in the New Testament, is credited with more converts to the religion than is Jesus himself.

The religion, however, was not Christianity as we know it today. That religion did not exist. Paul actually preached a form of Judaism with Jesus at the core. And he was a successful fisher of men only because he insisted that Old Testament laws should not be applied to converts.

Christianity, of course, evolved over the centuries after many violent clashes among the clerics, to assume its present form. However Paul, along with Jesus, has been adopted by Christians as a founder.


Jesus is considered by scholars such as Weber ...

Some scholars consider Jesus a charismatic leader. Others believe he was a rebel. There may be some truth to both ideas. Image via Wikipedia

Some scholars consider Jesus to be the leader of a rebellious movement. Hence his crucifixion, a punishment the Romans usually reserved for dissidents.


It was Paul who wrote the words that man could be saved by faith alone, that is, belief in Jesus Christ as God. Good works as preached by the Church were not essential for salvation. Ironically, it was these words that helped Martin Luther overcome his struggle with the religion as it existed in his day and resulted in the greatest schism in religious history.

Issue of faith versus works did not end with this debate. For in James 2:20, the apostle insists that “Faith that does not result in good deeds is not real faith.”

Nonetheless, while there were numerous causes for the Reformation, Luther’s “justification by faith alone” numbers among them.


The Bible does not answer the ultimate question about the existence of God: Why do we suffer?”


Scholars refer to the first three books of the New Testament as the Synoptic Gospels. Because of the many similarities between Matthew, Mark and Luke, it is thought the books are derived from a single unknown source. That silent document is called “Q” from the German word “Quelle” meaning source.


Remember. You don’t have to believe to take the journey. Happy traveling.