Posts tagged ‘Herman Cain’

November 27, 2011

The DC Folly Trolley

Reports indicate that BPA levels soar in urine samples after eating canned soup.

File:Campbells.jpg

What’s that BPA doing in my soup?

It’s preparing to rearrange your hormones, sir.

BPA contains a compound that disrupts hormone levels and is associated with heart disease, diabetes and obesity.

Executives at canned soup companies have developed two solutions to the problem:

  1. Stop peeing
  2. Advertise BPA as a new flavor (Momma’s chicken soup never tasted this good).
  3. A new slogan: Real men eat canned soup.

I know, I know. That’s three, not two. But three is really hard to remember so if I get two right I’m happy.

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The new fad in politics is to cry. Yep, that’s right. Just bust out in tears and you could be a real winner.

At recent tear shedding events Herman Cain and Rick Santorum cut loose. Past notables who have opened the ducts in public include Barack Obama, Hilary Clinton and Bob Dole, not to mention the tearful and frequent hysterics of John Boehner.

File:John Boehner golf.jpg

After missing the ball, the Speaker broke down.

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Tiny Nation Of Iceland Tells Elite 1% To Go Screw Itself. Establishes New Government. “Screw The Banks” Policy Works. Success Suffers Total US News Blackout

The corporate media in the United States has banished news of events in Iceland from all of its outlets including newspapers, television and radio.

Iceland was and is once again a socialist democratic country. Not too many years ago it was one of the richest countries in the world. Its banks were publicly run institutions who operated mainly to benefit the citizens of Iceland.

Enter the ogre – the privatization monster. The banks were privatized, sought foreign investment, went deeply into debt and they and the Icelandic economy soon crashed. The privatization ogre in Europe insisted that the government repay the debt by instituting austerity measures.

In short, the people of the tiny country rebelled, removed the government and wrote a new constitution; and, voila` the country is back on its feet. And only because the people told the bankers and the other European elites that they will decide their own futures, thank you, so take a hike.

The actions of the people of Iceland represent a revolution and victory against the international power structure, in other words, the 1%. Hence, the total media blackout in the United States.

Regardless of the fear of the people that prompted the blackout, the people of Iceland sent a clear message to the 1%. To wit, vaffanculo which translated into English means bafangool.

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Jesus wants everyone to own a pizza franchise, buy lottsa guns, run for president and stick their hands up a woman’s skirt.

Oh, wait. That’s Herman Cain.

Pizza man's here! . . . Herman Cain - Cartoon

Pizza man's here. Image by DonkeyHotey via Flickr

I think Herman also gets the two confused.

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In case you haven’t heard, Hermie has gone and done it again. He’s signed the Susan B. Anthony “pro-life, anti-abortion” pledge. Not satisfied with putting his hands up a woman’s skirt, he wants to go even further and get them into the uterus.

Click the photo for full attribution:

File:Campbells.jpg

Campbell`s Soup, Originaldosen des bekannten Warholmotives, (eigenes Foto)
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November 14, 2011

Random Musings

Rick Perry stands for three things. He can only remember two of them.

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Writing a 40 year mortgage at a reasonable interest rate would save numerous homes from foreclosure.

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One of the most morally hazardous groups in all of history – the banksters – are the ones who are raising the moral hazard issue. So much for the 40 year mortgage.

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The MIRVed U.S. Peacekeeper missile, with the ...

Billions of dollars well spent. Just think of all the multimillion dollar executive bonuses it created. Image via Wikipedia

The United States owns 11 aircraft carrier fleets whose combined worth is trillions of dollars. It has numerous submarines, both killer class and missile launchers whose combined worth is trillions of dollars. It possesses hundreds of ICBMs with MIRV hydrogen warheads worth trillions of dollars. It has intercontinental bombers with nuclear warheads worth trillions of dollars. It has fighter jets, tanks and an assortment of tactical nuclear devices worth trillions of dollars. And you think the government doesn’t know how to manage money!!!

Cruise missiles don’t grow on trees, ya know.

United States Trident II (D-5) missile underwa...

Can wipe out millions in a single launch. Wow! That should keep the terrorists away. Image via Wikipedia


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For some guys – like Herman Cain – sticking your hand up a woman’s skirt isn’t really harassment.

Just havin’ a little fun, honey. No harm in that. And his wife doesn’t understand him.

Unfortunately for a lot of these hand stickers, history keeps repeating itself over and over again. So guys pay attention to history. If you want to avoid sticky situations, best stick to sticking your hand up your wife’s skirt. If she can stand it.

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Some people think Fox Newsers are brainwashed. Actually a light rinse would be sufficient.

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Posts that relate to sex on campus receive some of the largest responses. So I think in the future I’ll include something about sex on campus in all my posts. After all sex on campus exists everywhere – even off campus. It’s part of the facts of life. Bet your momma never told you about that. Bet she didn’t need to.

November 1, 2011

The Folly Trolley

Mayor Bloomberg Blames Fannie and Freddie.

 

Mayor Bloomberg said today that Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae are to blame for the blizzards that occurred in NYC shortly after he fired several hundred sanitation workers. He said Congress forced Fannie and Freddie to take such actions.

This year, the mayor vowed, the city would be handing out snow shovels at fire and police stations. Check your local newspaper for times and locations.

The mayor is reported to have said: “So global warming came a little late last year. Couldn’t happen two years in a row. So I’ll fire some more sanitation workers.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Hello, Mayor Bloomberg. Are you there, Mayor? Come in Mayor Bloomberg.

Houston, we have a problem. Mayor Bloomberg is lost in space.

Again.

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Donald Trump is planning a new reality TV show called Three Ring Circus. He’s hiring an elephant and training it to be master of ceremonies. Anything to pay the bills, right Donald.

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A fellow who just let it slip

That he took a cold skinny dip

With a girl who was eager

But laughed at his meager

Sad little leaguer that fit on a microchip.

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No nation can survive half prosperous and half poor: Half in the upper classes who dine on good food and fine wine and the other half who wait the tables and clean up after.

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Herman Cain, such a pain

Viewed two women with disdain.

Much to his forlorn regret

They’ve come back with spear and net

.

Advice to this big a king of pizza

When a woman you next a meetsa

Best say madam s’cuse mum

I’ll a keepa my hands where you can a sees ’em.

Somebody is running a background check on this guy and finding skeletons in the closet.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

October 27, 2011

Cain Clueless In Follyland, DC

Herman Cain has fulfilled the first requirement for nomination as the Republican candidate for president.  He’s clueless.


Astonishin­g! And he is now a leading candidate for the Republican nomination­. How did it come to this?
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

He said the other day he’s not familiar with the neoconservative movement.  Must be something in the pizza sauce.  Or maybe he’s a slice short of a peperoni roll.

 

The neoconservative movement is a decades old right wing group that advocates an aggressive foreign policy toward the Middle East – a policy that includes military intervention and occupation.

The group includes numerous Republican Party luminaries, many of whom populated the Bush administration, and are directly responsible for the invasion of Iraq.

Even the ill-informed among us are aware of the neoconservatives and their war-mongering policies.  But not Herman Cain – and by his own admission.

Astonishing???  Not really.  Cain fits right in as a contestant in the Republican reality TV show that substitutes for a presidential primary campaign.

So congratulations Herman.  You’re one of the group – the clueless crowd.

Oh, by the way, he’s rumored to be cashing in on protection money from the Koch brothers.  The man’s a natural.