Posts tagged ‘JPMorgan Chase’

June 24, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley – 06/24/12

Here is another in the galaxy of witless statements that emanate on a regular basis from the deep, dark recesses of the confused mind of Mitt Romney.

Mighty Mitt said – and this is true – “I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that’s an America millions of Americans believe in. That’s the America I believe in.”

I believe that’s the only thing he believes in, believe or not. And it’s the most accurate statement he’s made in years. Unfortunately, nobody knows what he’s talking about and that includes Romney himself. But not to worry for Mighty Mitt. The less sense he makes, the more people seem to like him.

Holy bat shit, Batman. Mighty Mitt is running for president. Unbelieveable!!!

***

Monica Lewinsky turns 39 in a few days. Few realize it, but the nation owes her a debt of gratitude. This talented young miss got then president Bill Clinton embroiled in a zipper scandel that resulted in his impeachment and trial before the Senate. He beat the wrap, of course, but the Oval Office activity should become known as the blow job that changed the course of history.

English: Monica Lewinsky, from her government ...

Whatever she did or does is nobody’s damn business but her own.  (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Little did we know that the ex-prez and his aristocratic chief of staff Erskine Bowles were conspiring with then Speaker Newton Leroy Gingrich to slash Social Security benefits – behind our backs.

Monica, it turns out, was the heroine that derailed the presidential stab in the back. All hail Monica Lewinsky. And you thought Joe DiMaggio was the last hero.

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Sen. Chuck Schumer had a patty-cake exchange with J P Morgan Chase pal (and CEO) Jamie Dimon during the Senate Banking Committee hearings.

Jamie Dimon - Caricature

Jamie Dimon – Caricature (Photo credit: DonkeyHotey)

According to Senior UPW national affairs correspondent Marcy Popindick, the version of the hearings released to the public were prerecorded and what was viewed was actually an edited tape of the proceedings.

Here is a transcript of the actual exchange between Schumer and Dimon as recorded by Ms. Popindick.

Schumer: Is you wife still a member of the New York Bankers Country Club, Mr. Dimon?

Dimon: Yeah, what of it.

Schumer: Is your wife still taking golf lessons from a professional golfer at the club?

Dimon: That’s nobody’s damn business but her own.

Schumer: I’ve heard through the grapevine that your wife recently broke 100 for the first time at the club’s 18 hole golf course. Is that true?

Dimon: Yeah, it’s true. So what.

Schumer: Well, I hope you’ll pass along my congratulations to your wife. That’s a truly fine accomplishment.

Dimon: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Schumer: Perhaps we can all get together and do lunch down at the club some time. My treat.

Dimon: I’ll check with my secretary. She’ll get back to you.

Schumer: Well, as you know Mr. Dimon questioning is limited to five minutes and my time has expired. But I want to thank you for your extraordinary cooperation today.

***

  Minimum government mandated vacation days around the world:

Nation Vacation Days
United Kingdom

28

France

25

Greece

25

Germany

20

Japan

20

Mexico

16

China

10

United States

0

China!!! You’re shittin’ me. No, I’m not. China. At least according to Mercer’s 2011 Worldwide Benefit and Employment Guidelines.

And the good ole US of A is zero???

Yes, that’s right, zero.

Something we can all be very proud of. Only in America.

***

Many years ago a writer named Harry Golden wrote a book entitled Only in America.

Only in America (1958) paperback

1958: Only in America. (World Publishing Co.) Republished 1972 by World Publishing CoOnly in America (1958) paperback (Photo credit: Wikipedia).  Probably out of print.  But may still be available in libraries.  My tattered copy has long since vanished.

Intrigued by the title, I bought a tattered copy of the book at a garage sale for a nickel. I remember nothing from the book other than the title and that the essays contained therein were not only thought provoking but contained a large heaping of inconvenient truth.

I vaguely recall that little best seller because of similarities in our backgrounds: Harry’s parents immigrated from the Ukraine as did my maternal grandparents. Harry lived and wrote in Charlotte, NC, not far from where I now live. But most of all, I remember using the title of his book over and over again and, sadly, always in a derisive sense. And, again sadly, because it so often seems appropriate. Only in America, Harry, only in America.

***

Canadian officials have reported tar sands oil spills in Alberta province amounting to more than 9,000 barrels in the last thirty days.

The spills have raised environmental issues about the Keystone Pipeline, slated to cross the U S Midwest and terminate at refineries in Houston, Texas.

However, the National Institutes of Health, in conjuction with major oil refiners, issued a statement declaring environmental concerns non-existent since tar sands oil is low in cholesterol and, once you get past the gritty taste, the oil makes an excellent salad dressing.

It’s free too, if you can beat the rush to the spill sites.

***

House minority leader Nancy Pelosi criticized the House Oversight Committee vote to hold in contempt Attorney General Eric Holder for refusing to turn over documents related to the “fast and furious” gun selling operation. The sting was supposed to aid in the capture of members of the Mexican drug cartel through weapons traceability. The program has been an on-going sting for some time and quite possibly originated in 2006 during the Bush administration.

The entire affair seems to be another one of those holdovers from the previous administration that President Obama stepped into and Republicans are attempting to use yet another Bush policy to sting Obama. The GOP will stop at nothing to destroy the current president, this most recent thrust in the name of the utterly unscrupulous Darrell Issa.

The Issa parry will undoubtedly go nowhere and Issa knows it. But no Republican ever gave up a chance to smear a Democratic president.

Only in America.

***

A mind numbingly stupid Republican named (fill in the blank__________________) today called Nancy Pelosi “mind numbingly stupid.” This mind numbingly stupid Republican from South Carolina (where else! If not everywhere) ranted about Pelosi because she said the House Republican’s witch hunt against Eric Holder had to do with his effort to rid the country of the Republican voter suppression campaign and not with the Bush “fast and furious” debacle.

Oh, well. I can’t hold back any longer. This mind numblingly stupid Republican is Troy Gowdy from the semi-great state of – you guessed it – South Carolina.

File:Trey Gowdy, Official Portrait, 112th Congress.jpg

The sinister look of Trey Gowdy. It’s all in the eyes. The menacing stare forebodes ill for all who cross him.

He even looks mind numblingly stupid. That, however, is the easiest way to get elected in SC.

Gowdy upchucked his dufus rant on Fox News, the cable propaganda organ that not only enables but encourages these dufus diatribes. Unfortunately for the nation, the propanganda that originates with Fox  appeals to ever growing numbers of the class known as the Ignorantsia.

Perhaps even more mind numbingly stupid than Gowdy’s remarks are the Democrats. Thus far not a single one has come forward to defend Pelosi, the victim of this outrageously ignorant comment.

I guess that’s to be expected. Cowardice and Democrat are becoming synonymous.

***

Here is a true story about Attila the Hun. The barbarian built a temple to the love god Eros. It was a magnificent sructure but sometime during the late Dark Ages the temple was abandoned and fell into disrepair.

A few hundreds years later the building was taken over by an order of nuns who rid the temple of every last vestige of Eros and turned it into a convent.

Recently, the last of the nuns, while lying on her death bed, appealed to the bishop of the diocese to issue a writ declaring the order of which she was the last member be officially ended and the convent dedicated as a religious holy site.

The bishop refused to issue the writ and the last nun passed on to her final reward.

And that’s the end of the story: No nuns, no writs, no Eros.

I hate myself for doing that to you. But I really like the story. And, while you may be skeptical, it’s true. At least as true as anything you’ve ever heard on Fox News.

***

Is this what candidate Obama meant when he promised he would renegotiate NAFTA:

The Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) deal has been negotiated in secret (except for 600 corporate advisors). The TPP would:

–reward outsourcing of jobs to lower-wage countries;
–give foreign corporations immunity from U.S. laws;
–allow foreign corporations to challenge U.S. laws in foreign (secret) tribunals; and
–wipe out national protections for workers or the environment.

Presumably, foreign corporations operating in the United States could ignore minimum wage laws. Americans, now being strangled for jobs, would be required for work for ever modest wages – a couple of bucks an hour – and no benefits.

That’ll teach us to fuck with the aristocracy.

And thanks a lot, Barry. You’ve given us something we can all be very proud. A big, sharp, barbed shaft right up the ole culo. Only in America.

http://act.rootsaction.org/p/dia/action/public/?action_KEY=6218

May 21, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley

The JPMorgan Chase fiasco highlights the gullibility of Bill Clinton who swooned over the deregulation scams engineered by the notorious Senator Phil Gramm and supported by his ill-advised appointments of deregulation addicts Robert Rubin and Larry Summers to Treasury.

***

Dimons are the Streets best friend.

File:Hope Diamond.jpg

The Hope Diamond, a gem worth more than the Jamie (Courtesy of David Bjorgen).

***

Masking tape alert!  Mitt Romney said something to the effect that young people don’t understand the workings of banks.  Not a good thing to say during an election year since a lot of young people vote.  Evidently someone in the Romney campaign forgot the masking tape and Mitt was able to open his mouth – again.

Jeez, can’t they just get the guy to read from a teleprompter.

***

JPMorgan Chase just invented a new derivative.  It’s called the Jamie.  You buy and it loses $2 billion dollars.

File:Manhattan-woolworth-building-top.jpg

The Woolworth Building built in the days when high finance could still work for the good of the people. (Photo courtesy of Derek Jensen (Tysto).

***

Speaking of Clinton and swooning, too many Democrats still gush adoringly over this millionaires’ best friend.

William Jefferson Clinton – otherwise known as Wild Willy – was a guest once again at the Peter G. Peterson Foundation’s Fiscal Summit in Follyland.  Clinton, a backstabbing Democrat who has been a right wing extremist on economic policy at least for two decades is, as always, happy to rub elbows with his fellow multimillionaires.

Wild Willy, the man with the fastest zipper ever to occupy the White House, long ago turned his back on his fellow working class Democrats.

File:Bill Clinton 1995 im Parlament in London.jpg

Why these middle class workers still pay homage to this brazen turncoat is a mystery of unfathomable proportions.  He is the president who signed off on NAFTA, the disastrous deregulation agreements and, except for his zipper problem, would have made a deal with then Speaker Newt Gingrich that might well have opened the floodgates to the demise of Social Security.  He, in the person of his chief of staff, the aristocrat Erskine Bowles, was open to the idea of cuts to the Democrats’ most revered program and was set to open negotiations with the Speaker.  Then along came Monica who performed a service for which we all owe her a huge debt of gratitude.  She should only know.

And, by the way, Clinton defiantly bragged to his fellow millionaires that he wanted to cut Social Security by 10%.  He was, however, prevented from doing so by a coalition of Democrats and some rational Republicans (I know it’s hard to believe, but there was a time long, long ago when such a thing as a rational Republican actually existed on the planet.  Archaeologists have found fossil evidence to support this theory).

For all of these reasons, the Clinton presidency should be viewed as the miserable failure it was for working Americans.

Clinton points to the strong economic growth that occurred during the years when he occupied the Oval Office as his legacy.  But anyone could have been there and the same growth would have ensued.  Clinton simply got lucky.  The boom in telecommunications and information technology would have happened whether Clinton was in office or whether his pants were up or down.  And the tech bubble, which burst before he left office, also contributed to the false sense of prosperity that occurred when he just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

It’s time for honest Democrats to recognize this quisling for what he has always been – a right wing conservative on economic issues and a millionaire’s best pal.

Where would I place this so-called Democrat among a ranking of Democratic presidents?  Well, I guess somewhere above James Buchanan.  I guess.

***

Earlier in the week, Mitt Romney said the economy should be creating 500,000 jobs a month.  I say it should be creating a million jobs a month.  Neither of us knows what the hell we’re talking about so I guess that makes me a better bullshitter than Romney.  And that’s not an easy thing to do.

***

California is set to win the JPMorgan Chase Challenge for money losers.  That’s gotta be worth something.

Gov. Jerry Brown announced the state’s debt has risen to something in the neighborhood of $16 billion dollars.

So how’s all that job outsourcing working for ya?

The state government has hundreds of departments – all of which provide good jobs for millions of residents.

The jobs created by these departments are probably among the few remaining good paying jobs in the state.

Now here’s a thought.  If the state would just outsource all of the jobs created by the government or just eliminate them outright, the departments could be consolidated into just three:

The California Department to Feed the Hungry

The California Department to Clothe the Naked

The California Department to Shelter the Homeless

That last department wouldn’t be needed in the warmer parts of the state.  People could just live and die in the streets.

The point here is when private enterprise abandons its people out of malicious greed the people then must depend on its government for a livelihood.  And the people’s government must recoup the tax base it so casually gave away to pay for worthwhile services.

Instead, what we are witnessing is government abandoning its people by eliminating jobs and aggravating an already intense depression.

***

Too many North Carolinians hate government because it spends too much money – mostly on better wages and benefits for workers.  The wages and benefits are much better than those received by workers in the private sector, for example.  Yet instead of advocating for better conditions in private industry, great numbers of North Carolinians vote to degrade conditions for government employees – in fact they’re quite satisfied that many are simply getting fired.  Schadenfreude anyone?

***

Scientists have discovered a fungus in the Amazon rainforest that can live on polyurethane.  Apparently it eats, digests and then degrades the product into its basic elements.  I guess that’s a good thing.  Now if they could only find a fungus that degrades Styrofoam; it takes planet Earth a million years to perform that function – give or take a millennium.

***

According to the Wisconsin State Journal, the state is leading the country in the percentage of – say what!!!!! – job losses!!!!!  How can that be?  Gov. Scott Walker gave businesses tens of millions of dollars in tax cuts.  Weren’t the cuts supposed to create jobs?

Guess all those tax cuts aren’t working out so well.  At least not for the average worker.  Guess what Scottie really wanted was two yachts in every rich man’s garage – paid for by cuts in public sector jobs.

But private sector jobs declined as well.  Musta had all those yachts built in foreign countries, right Scottie.

So how’s all that deregulated free enterprise working out for ya?

What’s really astounding, though, is that Walker leads his opponent in the recall race by six points according to some polls.

File:Scott Walker 2010.jpg

At least half the state loves those tax cuts for rich people.  As for the rest, well, let them eat rice.  It’s good for ya.

Wisconsin job losses highest in nation for last 12 months, federal report says

***

The F-35 joint strike fighter is turning out to be private enterprise’s biggest taxpayer rip-off in the history of taxpayer rip-offs.  Yes, even bigger than the big bank bailout rip-off.

The entire program is estimated to cost about $1.5 trillion dollars.  But it will probably cost more.  They can’t seem to get the thing to work right.  It keeps killing pilots.  Not to worry though.  A few multi-billion dollar tweaks here and there and the plane should fly – and stop killing pilots.

 File:Aichi Val DF-ST-91-10602.JPEG

A replica of a World War II Japanese aircraft – a plane that flies.

So who do we blame for this multi-trillion dollar boondoggle:  The government or private enterprise?  Should we blame Lockheed Martin – the manufacturer of this not quite ready to fly trillion dollar death trap?  Or the government that bought into the scam?

If it was up to me, I would tell Lockheed Martin to go fly a kite.  If it didn’t cost a billion dollars to get them to build one, that is.

The F-35 Joint Strike Fighter, the Most Expensive Weapon Ever