Posts tagged ‘Los Angeles Clippers’

May 11, 2014

The DC Folly Trolley – 05/11/14

Clipper Clipped.

In an exclusive recorded interview with UPW News, Donald Sterling claimed he was not a racist.

The NBA recently zinged it big time to the LA Clippers owner for making racist comments during a recorded phone conversation.

As punishment for the remarks, NBA Commissioner Adam Silver said Sterling can’t go to any more Clipper games.

However, he can still watch them on TV in the comfort of his very own mansion.

In a statement released by Sterling from a recorded conversation, the billionaire protested the NBA’s decision and said he doesn’t have a racist bone in his body. To prove his point, Sterling claimed that some of his best friends are Borneo-Sumatran mountain dwellers.

He spoke with UPW News correspondent Marcy Popindick stating that he has often invited the Asian tribes’ people to Clipper games offering free tickets and a complimentary order of french fries, small size.

The only thing the tribal natives had to do was provide for their own air transportation.

Proclaiming his generosity, the Clippers owner pointed out that he was even willing to pay for accommodations for the tribe which would be provided by Tents Galore along with all necessary camping permits.

The taped conversation ended with Sterling saying, “So there. That proves I’m really not prejudiced after all.


Borneo-Sumatran tribesmen could not be reached for comment.

Photo from The Pagan Tribes of Borneo by Charles Hose.


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Obama Boosts TPP.

President Obama traveled to Asia recently to promote his faltering Trans Pacific Partnership agreement.

Citing several aspects of the pact, Obama said the agreement will boost trade, increase economic growth and employment and assist pharmaceutical giants in the quest to develop a new generation of wonder drugs.

El Presidente remarked that people opposed to the trade alliance are akin to conspiracy theorists. If they read the terms of the pact, the president seemed to believe, the knowledge gained would garner widespread support.

Obama seemed blissfully unaware, however, that the TTP was a deep, dark corporate secret.

English: Barack Obama delivers a speech at the...

Asked if the president knew the terms of the agreement, a spokesman said “No, “cause it’s a secret and besides as chief executive, Obama doesn’t have time to read that kind of bullshit. However, the spokesman continued, the president has complete faith in the corporate benefactors who paid for his billion dollar ticket to the Oval Office and trusts that they will do the right thing just as they have always done.


Wasp Attack.

White Anglo-Saxon Protestant Brit Hume, who benefited enormously from his WASP background, accused President Barack Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder of exploiting an African-American heritage to benefit their careers.

And Hume, the ultimate WASPy right winger, got away with it.

Only in America.

mother's day


Big Oil Assumes Ownership Of Earth’s Oceans.

The US Navy today assigned ownership of the planet’s five oceans to Wall Street’s largest oil companies.

In conjunction with its successful experiment converting carbon dioxide into an unlimited supply of hydrocarbons which can then be used as fuel to replace oil, gas and coal, the Navy granted a lease to Exxon-Mobil to extract CO2 from the Pacific Ocean.

Additional leases were granted to BP to extract from the Atlantic Ocean; Shell Oil accepted the lease to the Indian Ocean. Five additional companies signed leases to share access to the Arctic and Southern Oceans.


Soon to be powered by a seawater fuel conversion kit.

The process developed by the Navy, which promises to provide an unlimited supply of clean fuel, extracts the major greenhouse gas from seawater and converts it to hydrocarbons that can be used as a non-poluting energy source.

According to climatologists, the oceans act as sponges and absorb CO2. However, the scientists believe that at present the Earth’s water has achieved the saturation point and in the future will be unable to absorb significant atmospheric carbon dioxide, a condition that would result in accelerating global warming.

The experiment promises to restore the oceans’ ability to absorb the gas and since the converted fuel releases very little CO2, the process holds the potential of reversing global warming.

Executives at the major energy companies were delighted with the Navy’s decision to assign the oceans of the Earth to free market development.

Goldman-Sachs, JP Morgan Chase and several other Wall Street firms approached the oil giants with a proposition to buy huge portions of the leases and withhold them from the extraction process. “Warehousing” the oceans for future development would allow the Wall Street to restrict supply and control prices of the fuel which, according to an anonymous source, could reach as high as $7.00 dollars a gallon.

The price of energy stocks soared on Wall Street as investors salivated at the prospect of profits that can be realized from the new technology.


Limerick Lunacy.

A fellow was taking a break
After swimming in a frozen lake
He swam in the nude
When a woman said “Dude,
You can’t rock ‘n roll when you shake ‘n quake.”
A woman at last caught a break
After being many hours awake
She took a quick nap
On a lucky guy’s lap
Who tried to partake till she said “go pound cake.”
A woman would frequently pick
Every Tom, Harry and Dick
With the three in the car.
She soon went too far
Saying “this is what makes my life tick.
A woman was trying to pick
Among Tom, Harry and Dick.
She went on a tear
And had an affair
With all saying “this is my shtick.”
A woman was trying to pick
The guys who make her life tick.
They were all very nice
To her life added spice.
She decided she wouldn’t pick quick.
A woman was trying to pick
Frozen yogurt on a stick to lick.
The flavor she liked
Was thoroughly spiked
With rum that gave a quick kick.
A woman was trying to pick
Among guys with whom she could click
She chose a big fellow
Who made her life mellow
But alas was a slippery Dick.





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