Posts tagged ‘National Security Agency’

March 16, 2014

The DC Folly Trolley – 03/16/14

One For The Ages.

Talk about a flaming hypocrite….

Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) revealed that the CIA is spying on her. And she’s mad. Yes. Really, really mad.


Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) is all smiles after the announcement that she is a finalist in the running for the Hypocrite of the Year Award.

The agency locked on to unspecified communications of the Chair of the Senate Intelligence Committee and its members in violation of the committee’s oversight role and maybe even the Constitution, like in the separation of powers convention provided in that document.

The matter involved something called the Panetta Review, a report by the former CIA director concerning the torture of prisoners conducted by the agency’s agents.

Oh, how the lady doth take umbrage.

She took to the Senate floor and huffed and puffed her way to the award of Hypocrite of the Year.

Feinstein, you’ll recall, was a strident defender of the NSA’s right to spy on you. After all, how could your government’s Department of Homeland Security know what you were up to if if didn’t intercept your private communications.

As Jon Stewart said of Feinstein’s outrageous rant “our stuff is shit, but her shit is stuff.”

Let’s hope there’s some really hot stuff yet to be revealed. Wouldn’t that be fun.

And then there’s Lindsey Graham, (R-SC) sticking his nose in everywhere he possibly can ’cause he’s up for reelection this year and really needs the media coverage.

So Lindsay says “This is Richard Nixon stuff.”


Lindsay Graham (R-SC), is a reelection shoe-in but still seeks all the media face time he can get.

Can’t argue with that assessment.

The only advice for Lindsey is that it was always Richard Nixon stuff. Even way back, when you were defending the right of the NSA to spy on us.



Feinstein says don’t spy on me
So goes the lady’s perverse decree.
It’s only okay to spy on you.
Need to know what you’re up to.
But spying on me, that’s a felony.


Simple Simon Says….

President Obama said that inequality is hurting the middle class.

President Obama said the minimum wage is too low.

President Obama said that insurance for the long term unemployed should be extended.

Ho-hum. So what else is new?

Let’s come clean here. For him it’s just a game. It’s an election year and the voter says “do this.”

But don’t actually do it. Heaven forbid.

No. It’s just time to dust off the old hope and change thingy. More words, more speeches. Think nothing of it.


You gotta admit, though, no politico in Follyland can say it better.

But now it’s back to business as usual.

The guy is all “hopey” with no “changey.”


Below is a short film, som five minutes, about faith betrayed – the faith so many of us placed in the betrayer-in-chief.


Obama’s a son of a gun
Preaching hope in the president’s run.
He told many lies
Now to no one’s surprise
The hope was a tall tale he’d spun.


From Socialism To Profit.

If you think you’re included in the profit portion of the rush to privatize everything under the sun, you are badly mistaken.

The move to profitize public school systems across the land has absolutely nothing to do with improving the quality of education or including you in the scam to cheat taxpayers out of even more of our hard earned dollars.

Just look at whose leading the movement to profitize and you’ll understand the sneaky motive behind the scam to run off with the cash. It’s the millionaires and billionaires. And they are going to make a killing destroying one of the great accomplishment of Western civilization.

And why shouldn’t they?

Now that Democrats have betrayed the legacy of their party, nothing can stop the movement to profitize everything – including a great success story:  the schools we all went to.

Yes. You read that right. The American system of education is the most successful program ever.

Let’s take a brief look at what it’s accomplished.

It has won more Nobel Prizes than any on Earth.

It is responsible for the greatest technological advances in history.

It put a man on the moon.

It established the greatest public university system in all the world, bar none.

It graduated more men and women from it’s public universities than any nation before or since.

It is responsible for creating the largest and greatest middle class in history.

In virtually every endeavor, the American system of education can boast unparalleled success. The accomplishments in science, technology and the arts are truly astonishing.

So why change something that isn’t broken?

Money, that’s why. Greed, that’s why. Maximum profit for the 1%, that’s why.

And who supports this caper to destroy one of the greatest accomplishments in world history?

Barack Hussein Obama. That’s who.

An apostle of the worst president in American history – that being Ronald Reagan – Obama and the cohorts he appointed are leading the drive to profitize.

One of Obama’s chief profitizing enablers is Arne Duncan, the Secretary of Education. The Ed. Department head has been an advocate of profit charter schools since his early days as CEO of Chicaco Public Schools.

Duncan is also an avid pusher of standardized testing as a means to determine the success of public schools. His Race To The Top and Common Core programs are designed to judge accomplishment by test.

Critics of the Common Core and the Bush era No Child Left Behind claim that the tests are rigged to ensure under-achievement and promote the profit charter school agenda.

Another of Obama’s profit at any cost enablers is Rahm Emanuel, now the chief profitizer of Chicago. Emanuel is closing public schools and attacking teachers and their unions in a brazen move to upend public education and gift it to charter school businessmen.

Are the achievements of public education in America an accomplishment of socialism?

Of course they are. Schools in the United States have always been a function of local and state governments with an assist at the Federal level. And as we’ve noted the story is one of unmatched success.

pub ed

Public education – still on top, still soaring-despite every effort by profit mad money to kill it off.

Are there problems in the system?

Of course. There are indeed pockets of failure.

But can anyone name any area of human endeavor where there are not problems?


Where There’s A Buck To Be Made…

you will always find a Republican.

Would you like some profit with that cup of tea?

Well, join the Tea Party.

Here’s a comment by a Tea Party money grubber concerning socialism and public schools via from The Raw Story.

So how do we approve our education system….The only long-run solution is to move to a more privatized system.”

He meant “profitized” of course.

Now there’s an ambitious pol if ever there was one. You gotta give him credit though. He knows exactly who to suck up to. If he wants his political career to take off he needs to bend over for the big money.


The Capitol of the United States. There’s a government in there somewhere. A crooked one, to be sure.

But, then, who in politics doesn’t.


Criminal Accuses Others.

Not a criminal only because he got away with criminal behavior, but his past doesn’t prevent him from trying to pin such behavior on others.

The guy is still harping on dead horses desperately trying to resurrect them perhaps in some perverse need to erase his past by accusing others of his own behavior pattern.

The dead horses Issa keeps in his stable are Benghaze and the bogus from the start IRS “scandel.”

This week Issa once again revealed his crude, boorish self by angrily cutting off the microphone of a fellow congressman.

The person whose voice the rude “gangsta” slashed was a Democrat. Naturally.

The victim, Elijah Cummings of Maryland swiftly rallied fellow Dems to his side and, astonishingly, they reacted.

Insisting on a formal reprimand as punishment for Issa’s crass treatment of the Maryland representative, the Dems called for condemnation for breaking the House code of conduct.

And just why is that reaction astonishing?

Because Dems are noted for sitting around with their thumbs up their asses whenever a member of the opposing party insults one of their own.


And here’s a summary of Issa’s bad ass days.


It’s A Joke.


Some More Limerick Lunacy.

A fellow announced “we are done”
Playing games in the hay isn’t fun.
No need to be wed
Let’s jump into bed
But I’ll read you no poem by John Donne.”
A woman was feeling undone
When her beau said “you’re no longer fun.
We’re not in grade school
Let’s strip in the pool
And make love ‘neath the midnight sun.
A woman was feeling undone
When she stripped in the pool to have fun.
There was a cold breeze
So she started to sneeze
Saying “make it a really quick one.”
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March 9, 2014

The DC Folly Trolley – 03/09/14

NSA Bugs White House.


Documents leaked early yesterday reveal that the National Security Agency is intercepting White House communications.

Included in the leaked file was a transcript of a top secret conversation between President Barack Obama and Russian President Vladimir Putin.

According to the transcript the two heads of state had a personnel conversation that revealed the frustrations of each regarding recent developments.

Here is the leaked transcript in full.

Obie: Dobrie ootro my man, what’s happnin’ bro.

Pooty: Ну у меня было два красивых молодых женщин на на квартире прошлой ночью, и сказать вам правду я чувствую себя немного изношены.

Obie: What’s up with that roosky shit, man. You know I don’t dig that jive.

Pooty: Подождите, пока вы слышите это, мой человек. Эти две телки приехать и я просто получаю из душа, и они начинают сушки меня.

Вы все еще не понимаю по-русски?

Obie: I been practicin’. I been practicin’ But you guys got some funny shit alphabet over there. Now c’mon Pooty. Tell me about those two women you say your wit. You gotta be jivein’ me, man. Two, at the same time. C’mon’, my man.

Pooty: Нет, может человек. Это не джайв. Это правда. Два из них.

Блондин, голубые глаза, С чашки.

Obie: Blond, blue eyes, C-cup!!! Two of ’em. Aw, c’mon, bro. Now I know you’re jiving me.

Pooty: Нет, мой мужчина. Сначала я думал, что они были ЦРУ, но я попросил им nationaliy Екатерины Великой и когда они сказали, немецкий, я знал, что они были русскими. Выключите видеомагнитофон и слушать это.

Я дважды дозируется на Viagra.

Obie: Two. At the same time. No wonder you’re tired. Hey, have they got any sisters?

Pooty: Я спрошу. Не волнуйтесь. В следующий раз вы находитесь в городе я починю вас.

Obie: Oh, damn. In that case, I’ll send Biden. Pooty, listen up. Have I got a deal for you. I’ll give you Ukraine for two Afghanistans and an Iraq. You give me Libya and I’ll throw in Syria.

Pooty? Pooty? That’s all of Ukraine now. Not just Crimea, ya know. How’s that sound.

Hello, Pooty? Pooty,? Are you there?

Pooty? What’s goin’ on, my man? What’s happenin’, bro….


Must be a bad connection.

putin say cheese

Nyet, nyet. Cheese, Vlad, cheese. You know vat means cheese?  

(Phote:  Russian Presidential Press and Information Office).




Minority Leader Gives Rousing Speech.

Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell tried to give a speech at the Conservative Political Action Committee. And he almost succeeded. As he read his words from a piece of paper the crowd burst into silence.

It could have been better. But, fortunately for McConnell, one of his aids thought of a warm up caper. To rile up the gun nuts among the right wingers, the corpse-faced senator first he had to get the gun nuts riled up.

Soooooo to get the gun nuts riled up, the Minority Leader carried a bogus rifle on stage after his introduction. The crowd went ballistic. Unfortunately for Mitch it was the last time the audience showed any emotion at all.

The rest of the performance fell flatter than a Denny’s pancake.

Here’s an example. Mitch said the president “treated the Constitution worse than a Denny’s placemat.” That is supposed to be an applause line. And a funny remark.

To be fair, a smattering of polite laughter did rise up from the floor to, well, somewhere below the rafters. Far below the rafters.

His next laugh line came after he accused the Democrats of being the party of too big to fail Wall Street banks as he accused the media of a Benghazi coverup for the benefit of Hillary Clinton uncampaign for the presidency.

Yes, again there was some embarrassed laughter for the hapless speaker.

Never however was there a threat that McConnell would bring down the house, even in super friendly CPAC territory.


Still has that same ole shit eatin’ grin.

Oh, I almost forgot. The crowd applauded when the senator left the stage. Not a moment too soon.

Next year, aides vowed, McConnell would pack some real heat and fire live rounds into the crowd.

That should liven things up.



Alien Life Form Discovered In Canada.

Scientists have discovered evidence of the existence of an alien life form that lived millions of years ago on the surface of the Earth.

Fossils still being unearthed at a dig site on an island in the northern Canadian province of Nunavut include samples of frozen DNA and skeletal structures of nearly whole spinal cords and skulls.

The creatures, according to reports, possessed a type of DNA with a distinctly different pattern from any previously known varieties. The strands, called the double helix, contain unidentified chromosomes and a heretofore unknown nucleotide which has yet to be named.

Scientists are speculating that the alien life form may have come to Earth during the Cambrian explosion and, during that period, evolved into numerous related species, some of which assumed a bipedal or human-like configuration.

Carbon dating showed that the earliest forms unearthed to date lived in the Jurassic jungles as a fungus. They migrated north assuming an abundance of adapting shapes while surviving several mass extinctions during the migratory phases.

However, many samples unearthed at upper layers of the dig site indicated that the growth, while morphing, developed endoskeletons during the early Cenozoic era.

Bio-archaeologists suspect that creatures with nearly identical DNA to the earliest types discovered to date continue to roam the planet and appear in numerous shapes.

Comparing the find with DNA samples submitted by laboratories from around the world, the researchers concluded that the fungus is still among us.

Studying fossils from the dig, morphologists have been able to sketch a likeness of the alien life form’s facial features.

The most prominent characteristics are sharp angular details of the ears, nose and chin.

Archaeologists have determined from the study of the fossil record that the creature was ill-tempered and possessed an aggressive personality. Scarred and disfigured bone fragments reveal its tempestuous nature.

Here are some examples of what the fungus-like creature might look like:




From Rick Cooley’s Blog.

Good reads on important matters.


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November 10, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 11/10/13

Hunger Builds Character.

Cafeteria workers in a Texas school threw a kid’s breakfast in the garbage because his food account was thirty cents in arrears. And now liberals are criticizing the workers who tossed the kid’s food because servers’ actions sent the 12-year old to class hungry.


The rich building character? Public assistance helped to reduce the rabid nature of Depression era poverty in the United States. A thought to ponder: Is the woman pictured responsible for the dire circumstances in which she and her children are forced to live? Or are they victims of a savage form of capitalism over which they have no control? Could extreme income inequality make the scene pictured above a commonplace in American culture? 

Hey, you can’t pay, you don’t eat, right? Besides, hunger builds character. That’s the American way.

The cafeteria workers behaved in a manner that prevents moral hazard from becoming a threat to our society. If they had given the kid breakfast, before you know it, he’d want to eat when he owed sixty cents. Some people will never learn.


Oh, waiter, get over here. I’ll take a 12 oz. lobster tail and an 8 oz. filet du boeuf, rare and thick. Be sure it’s thick. A Waldorf salad before the dinner. And my usual of Dom Perignon 2003. And be quick about it. I don’t have all day.”


And pick out the walnuts. I don’t want any walnuts!!!   (Original Phote:  World Economic ForumFlickrThe Global Financial Context: James Dimon).

“Those people will never learn.”

Now drink up, mon cherie. Remember we’re celebrating. My lawyer called earlier and said I just beat another rap. I pay a billion in tax deductible fines, with shareholder money of course, admit to no wrongdoing and I walk free and clear. Again.

“Where is our Waldorf!!! That waiter just lost his tip. Those people will never learn.”


Sarah and Ted. Ted and Sarah.

Ted and Sarah have been paling around a lot lately. Getting downright chummy actually. Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

Surely there’s no hanky panky going on. After all, they are conservatives. Sarah and Ted. Ted and Sarah. A perfect Tea Party couple.

Hello. NSA. Can you clue us in on this relationship?


Speaking Of NSA.

Speaking of NSA, the snooper guys have developed a method for conducting long distance prostate exams. According to an anonymous source, the folks who work in the dungeons located at (redacted) can shove a remotely guided electronic beam up the ass of any world leader at a moments notice.  The beam is said to relay medical information as well as intelligence data back to NSA headquarters in (redacted).

So if I were French King Francois Gerard Georges Nicolas Hollande XIV, I wouldn’t sweat the cell phone tap.

By the way, Francois, you’re in good health.


Francois Hollande, President of France, a man with a bug up his ass, courtesy NSA. (Orig. photo by Kyro).


Putzie Winner Proclaimed.

Pasta Fagioli, Italy.


Here’s is an exclusive report filed moments ago by UPW’s Super Senior International Affairs Correspondent Marcy Popindick. The Nobella Prize Committee declared multimillionaire televangelist Pat Robertson the winner of the MVP award in bigotry.

The award goes to Robertson because he really, really, really doesn’t like gay people or gay marriage or the entire LGBT freedom movement. When asked how he felt about gays, Robertson replied, “Yuckie.”

According to notorious gay hater Niall Ferguson, the TV preacher’s statement will go down in the history of Letters for its pithiness and brilliance in summarizing the feelings of bigots the world over.

Robertson is also noted for wanting to place a vomit button on his Facebook page to ward off the bad spirits proclaiming gay equality in marriage and employment.

In view of Robertson’s consistent expressions of antipathy toward gays, the Nobella Committee is proud to present the televangelist with the Most Valuable Putz award.


Winners of The Most Valuable Putz Award receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize.

These exceptional individuals also receive a statuette named the Pubar which is engraved with the words “Putzed up beyond all reason.” Known as the Putzie, the coveted statuette is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard.

The Putzie is given while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winner supplies just ran out.

From the UPW Newsroom reporting from Pasta Fagioli, Italy. Unreliable Press Worldwide: Surpassing the Mainstream Media in reporting worthlessly useless news the world over.  

Pat Robertson Named ‘Bigot Of The Year’ At Stonewall Awards


Ode To A Jester.

There once was a jester named Lester
Who wanted a stringent sequester.
The name of the game
For Lester was fame.
Which he earned as he spoke till he’d fester.
The jester may well be named Cruz.
In the Senate he lit up a fuse.
His name he’d defame
But to him all the same.
He showed himself hardly a muse.

Lester the Jester lit the fuse of Ted Cruz


He conducted a long filibuster.
The Tea Party ’round him would cluster.
With the toss of the dice.
He could name a high price.
As votes from the right he could muster.


A Day To Remember.

The Sardo Institute of Superfluous Holidays located in Pasta Fagioli, Italy has proclaimed Sunday November 10, 2013 World Schmuck Day.

Dedicated to the proposition that every schmuck should have his day, The Sardo Institute is celebrating by inviting Poet Laureate Emeritus Summa Cumma Louder Mangiapasta Bacciagalupe to join the festivities and regale the honorees with a poem. Here is the professor’s contribution to World Schmuck Day.

There once was a schmuck had a duck.
The duck wouldn’t quack it would cluck.
He went to a vet
Who wanted to get
The duck with the schmuck to upchuck.
In his throat the duck got muck stuck.
It was simply a case of bad luck.
He ate from a pile
Then after awhile
The duck with the cluck ran amok.
Because the poor thing wouldn’t quack.
The schmuck locked the duck in a shack.
When free of his tethers
The duck pulled out his feathers.
And was ready to stew for a snack.
The duck made a wonderful stew.
The schmuck ate it in haste with a brew.
Infected with staph
The duck had the last laugh
When the schmuck with the duck ate the stew he up threw.
The schmuck with the duck still had no clue
And the day that they met he soon came to rue.
For the duck was a mean and heartless gift.
From a woman who was uncontrollably miffed.
It came from his ex who’d turned into a shrew.

The moral of the story:  Once a schmuck, always a schmuck.