Posts tagged ‘Newt Gingrich’

January 22, 2012

Random Musings

Newt has demonstrated in the past that he certainly wants to get in there.

Scientists tell us that the G-spot – an area of pleasure in a woman – doesn’t really exist. The area is an accumulation of nerves that extend from the clitoris, the most sensitive area on a woman’s body.

Now I haven’t known – in the Biblical sense – a whole lot of women in my day. However, I never met one who cared where the pleasure originated as long as it came on a fairly regular basis.

I was lucky to know something about a woman’s body. When I was 17 years old, I sent away for a sex manual. You know, the kind that used to come in a brown paper wrapper.

You had to be 21 to send for it and sign a statement attesting to your age. Well, I figured I was close enough and since I worked and had my own checking account, I sent away for it.

Wow. Stuff you don’t know when you’re 17.

I was also fortunate enough to be able to practice some of the stuff I learned from the book on a girl who lived across the street. Actually, there were days when we sat and read the book together.

Back in the day just about all activity was permissible except actual penetration. Since birth control devices were not yet readily available to kids, and since we didn’t trust the rhythm method we’d read about, we pretty much limited activity to what was referred to as “heavy petting.” Most girls engaged in that practice. However, actual relations were verboten.

In any case, I cannot recall a single girl, or later women, who asked about a G-spot or even a clitoris.

Now I have to carry this scientific report just one step further and then I promise I’ll drop it.

File:T. rex old posture.jpg

I wonder if female dinosaurs were able to direct their male counterparts to the right spot. Maybe they just got fed up with all the shit and quit having sex altogether. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my theory of the great dinosaur extinction. The males just couldn’t find the G-spot.

So as far as the scientists are concerned: Have a ball and don’t worry about this or that spot.

***

Some psychiatrist has claimed that Newt Gingrich’s acts of infidelity are a qualification for the presidency – at least those that Gingrich admits to any way.

Gee whiz!!! If I only knew, I coulda been president. And had some fun along the way. And it’s a good way to make a fast buck besides.

Although, in my case, premarital infidelity would have to count – if there is such a thing.

Perhaps the reason no woman has ever been elected president of the US is that they’re just too damn faithful. Ladies, there’s a lesson to be learned here.

The psychiatrist’s name by the way is Keith Ablow. Ablow??? Are they kidding? Now there’s Rorschach fodder if I have saw it. 


Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Newt Wins SC Primary

Callista must really be excited. Betcha she gets a half million dollar shopping trip to Tiffany next week. If she ever becomes first lady the Marines will need a separate helicopter to transport her jewels to Camp David, a Chinook no doubt.

December 31, 2011

The DC Folly Trolley

Soft Terrorism

The army describes protest movements, that is people exercising their Constitutional right of free speech, as soft terrorism.

File:Green Party protestors 2011.jpg

Protestors: Soft terrorists??? (Photo by Midnightblueowl).

So if Obama, or any other president, decrees protestors are terrorists he can send them to Gitmo without trial or benefit of legal representation; he can order drone attacks against them on American soil; or he can send in the tanks to gun them down.

***

Chris Matthews made a comparison of Newt Gingrich to a car bomber. I’m not sure how Matthews came up with the “car bomber” metaphor, but I’m not seeing that. Fat, egotistical, adulterer, yes, sounds a lot better to me. “Car bomber”, a bit extreme, even for Gingrich.

Reportedly, Obama has been referred to as much worse in private conversation.

***

Free Market Mythology

Petroleum sold in a “free” market??? I here that nonsense all the time. If you’ve been beguiled by free market ideologues, you may want to read up on OPEC and monopolies – the very essence of a rigged marketplace.

Adding to monopolistic distortions of the market, the oil industry rigidly controls supply by controlling refinery capacity. The last refinery built in the US was in 1976. Since then the oil industry has closed, rather than upgrade, several older refineries. The reason given is that to maximize profit at a refinery, it has to operate at or near 100% capacity. So to prevent under-use and oversupply, older plants were abandoned and dismantled. Thus the industry can carefully manage supply and as we all know when supply is controlled against continuously rising demand prices will rise.

A third control device is the commodity market. You may recall that gasoline is sold at auction, in much the same manner as wheat and corn, where bidders buy against future supply. When supply is carefully managed the price is bid up.

So if you feel bad because you believed petroleum products are sold in the mythical “free market”, don’t.. I’ve heard economists with masters degrees refer to the “free” market in petroleum. Obviously they have been thoroughly brainwashed beginning with Economics 101.

Your senator or congressman has no doubt uttered the same “free market” manure that oil industry execs and economists spread about the planet. And whether they believe it or not, the politicians are paid well by industry lobbyists to shovel that shit. And they do a remarkable job as propagandists for the oil industry. They earn their payoff money.

So tawdry is the money exchange between industry and dirty politicians that we can compare the activity that occurs in Follyland, DC to the crimes committed by 20th century mobsters who demanded money from businesses to “protect” them from calamity.

Today’s lobbyist eagerly pays protection money to the “mobsters” in Congress and the White House and these scoundrels provide protection through legislation that industry demands. And, if you didn’t already know, many of these laws are written by lawyers who work directly for the industry.

***

Lots of people might be able to swing a vote for Newton Leroy, He is what we used to call in college “a real hair man.” That’s something a lot of men always wanted to be but we could never quite manage it.

I’m not sure of the etymology of the phrase. But I do know a definition was never necessary – provided you were aware of the reputation of the guy being referred to as a real hair man. Context was all that was ever needed. And if you know anything about Newt’s past, well, the phrase applies and no explanation is necessary. And, who knows, his rep could certainly swing some votes his way.

***

The Keystone Pipeline

Oil companies have stubbornly avoided constructi­ng new refining capacity in order to maintain rigid control of supply and therefore price. I suspect control of supply is one reason for the Keystone pipeline in the first place. To put another refinery on line, for example, would increase the supply of gasoline – a no-no when your goal is price control through supply management.

The project does hold the promise of jobs, however, although most will be temporary and the number has been vastly overestimated, at least according to impartial studies. The figure coming from TransCanada, the Canadian company that proposed the pipeline, is 20,000 jobs; other studies estimate 10,000 jobs; the State Department figure is 7,000.

File:Alaska Pipeline.jpg

The Alaska Pipeline, an eyesore at the very least. No telling what the Keystone Pipeline will look like. (Photo by Ryan McFarland from Petersburg, AK).

Other issues prevail as well. The pipeline is slated to cross an aquifer of inestimable value. Can we trust that the pipeline will afford fool proof protection for this water supply? Can we trust that the line will be built to even minimum standards? Or will contractors take short cuts to swell profits? Will regulators and inspectors-now regulated by those they are supposed to regulate-be trusted to perform their sworn duty to ensure the safety of the project, particularly after they have been lavished with wine, women and whatever else is in the corporate bag of bribery tricks.

Will PIGS (pipeline inspection gauges) be properly utilized? Will the information the devices transmit be acted upon?

If an honest inspector reports a defect will it be corrected or will the whistleblower be fired after a backchannel phone call to a senator or representative – a practice that defuses honest inspection.

Whadda you think?

And if all of the standards are rigidly adhered to, do we really want what could easily turn into an eyesore running down the width of this magnificently beautiful landscape? Especially during the construction phase. And afterward when numerous pumping stations mar the scenery.

The better way would be to construct a new refinery.

To put a refinery on line however could increase the supply of gasoline. And you know what happens to price when supply increases. I suspect the reason for the pipeline in the first place is to avoid at all cost bringing a refinery on line so the oil industry can continue its rigid control of supply.

***

I predict the South will rise in unison and sing in praise of Newt. I can hear repressed preachers below the Mason-Dixon line pulpitting in full throated glory: “Any man who treats women the way Gingrich does gets my vote. He’ll end abortion, he’ll save marriage and he’ll end all this equality claptrap. He’ll end sex education; he’ll fire teachers who hand out rubbers in the cafeteria; he’ll stop pre-marital sex by putting kids to work in schools. Got to keep the youngins moral, ya know. Especially after they start lookin’ real good. Uh. Praise the lord.”

***

File:Anacortes Refinery 31904.JPG

Refinery at Anacortes, WA. (Photo by Walter Siegmund (talk)

Two New Refineries Proposed. Now In The Delay Stage. Blame It On the EPA.

Two new refineries are currently on the drawing board. They promise to deliver cleaner fuel from state of the art plants with greatly reduced air and water pollution.

Arizona Clean Fuels Yuma is seeking to build a plant in Arizona and Hyperion Energy is in the permit phase of construction of a refinery in South Dakota. And, as expected, there are delays.

Too often the Environmental Protection Agency is blamed for postponing start up . Signed into law by the socialist president – at least by today’s standards – Richard M. Nixon, agency regulations are faulted for delays and provide a convenient scape goat for the oil industry’s stubborn refusal build needed refineries and bring more production capacity on line .

While strict regulations are in place making delays in the construction of a new plant inevitable, the EPA is only partly responsible. State permits are also required and are often more exacting than the Federal variety.

In addition to air quality standards, provisions for storm water drainage, water discharge and water quality are essential and local regulations are often stringent. Local zoning laws may also need to be revised to permit industrial construction and these revisions take time.

Moreover, issues that have nothing to due with environmental policy impact greatly on new construction. Company lawyers and executives bargain ruthlessly and endlessly with state officials over the incentive packages a state government is willing-or more often forced-to provide, mostly give backs in taxes .

Currently, the biggest factor in delays is the matter of financing. A new refinery costs billions to construct. And in today’s sluggish economic environment, banks are reluctant to lend.

So, while extremists on the right continue to blame the EPA and environmental organizations for the lack of new refinery construction, the agency and green advocates are used as convenient whipping posts for executives who want to control supply, lawyers who insist on ever more state give backs and bankers who are wary about lending.

Eventually the refineries will be completed but be forewarned, if past practice holds, older refineries will come off line and be dismantled. Again, supply will be strictly controlled to support price levels in a rigged market with rising demand.

***

With the rise in popularity of Ron Paul in the polls, you might want to familiarize yourself with his ideology. If you haven’t done so already, you can read up on the Ludwig von Mises Institute, the Austrian School of Economics and refer from time to time to Lew Rockwell’s libertarian blog. These sites bring insight and perspective to the economic nonsense regurgitated by Ron Paul and his ilk.

***

I cannot vote for Mitt Romney because he has robbed numerous banks across the country.

Actually, the foregoing is not intended to be a factual statement. But then most of what Romney says about Obama isn’t either.

On the other hand, a slight revision of the statement bears much truth. Romney was a banker who robbed people and, like so many Wall Streeters, is the modern version of a bank robber. His hedge fund bought up businesses, fired loyal workers whose seniority earned them good wages and benefits, hired cheap labor and then sold off the business for a profit. Highway robbery! That’s how Romney got rich.

***

Religion is like a penis. It’s fine to have one. And it’s OK to be proud of it. But please don’t take it out in public and whip it around. And please don’t try to shove it down everyone’s throats.

Sorry, but I don’t have the name of the author of that statement.

File:Mercury god.jpg

Talk about whipping it out in public. And it ain’t “that ole tyme religion.”  The work is entitled “Well Endowed Mercury”, created between 89 BCE and 79 CE, artist unknown.

***

Now that it’s over perhaps we can discuss Christmas in an unemotional light.

Christmas is and should be a secular holiday for those who wish to observe in that way. I would venture to say that for a very large number of Christians, the holiday is far, far from a religious celebration.

Due to some fiction called the “war on Christmas”, however,many Christians seem to take offense at not being wished “Merry Christmas” in public. This war fiction of course is a blatant attempt to inject the Christian religion into the holiday season and shove it down everyone’s throats. Sadly, such childish insistence may be one reason many non-Christians refuse to join the celebrating.

I myself prefer to say “enjoy the holidays”, unless in church – where I have noticed for many years now that no one – no one – ever wishes “Merry Christmas” except in response to my own greeting.

***

Want to observe the real “war on Christmas” close and upfront? Venture out into what I call the “Christmas asteroid belt.” If you’ve ever gone shopping on a weekend during the holidays, you get my drift. If there’s anything to be grateful for during this season, it’s returning home safely after a foray into the mall. Every year, it seems, a few never return.

***

I’m particularly fond of holiday invitations – gathering together with friends and relatives. Occasionally these visits will produce a “religious experience.” Not to worry though. I am always the designated passenger.

Enjoy the holidays – everyone. There’s lots more to come.

December 11, 2011

The DC Folly Trolley

Bernie Sanders (I-VT) called for an amendment to save democracy in America. It’s a sad circumstance that such an amendment is necessary.

File:Supreme Court US 2010.jpg

The people who decide who rules the country – besides themselves that is.

The intent however should be to restore democracy.

The Supreme Court’s decision in Citizens United affirmed the right of the 1% to rule the country without any uppity interference from the 99%. And the word of the five right wing wackos on the Court is final.

Anyway, go Bernie. You are one hell of a fighter.

***

Newt Gingrich insisted today that he is not a lobbyist and has never received a license from any lobbyist group.

An officer for the Certified Lobbyists Association of the Potomac confirmed the former speaker’s statement. The group issues a license known as the Certified Lobbyist Association Plaque and according to the spokesman, Gingrich has never gotten the CLAP.

Actually, Gingrich needn’t bother his egotistically bloated head about a license. There are already numerous lobbyists in Follyland who proudly proclaim they have the CLAP.

***

Here is a bulletin from the UPW newsroom as reported by Senior Analyst Marcy Popindick. Iowa Jesus announced today that he has forgiven Newt Gingrich for all ethics violations he committed while a member of the House of Representatives.

The self-proclaimed prelate also said he has granted full forgiveness to presidential candidates who are guilty of committing the sin of adultery provided they are Republicans.

In his encyclical, Iowa Jesus also included forgiveness for GOP candidates who have no more than two divorces.

A spokesman for Iowa Jesus warned however that if candidates, including Newt Gingrich, committed any more indiscretions they’d have to come across with some fast cash if they wanted to be forgiven.

Ms. Popindick recalled that during his short-lived 2008 presidential campaign, Gingrich received forgiveness for his transgressions from Minnesota Jesus on the preacher’s radio program “Hour of Glory.”. Although rumors were rampant about improprieties, Popindick stated there was never any evidence of cash changing hands between the former Speaker and Minnesota Jesus.

***

President Barack Obama’s speech in Potawatomie, KS this week mirrored the words and ideas of former Republican president Theodore Roosevelt. As crowds gathered, the president was said to be elated at the enthusiasm of the people of Punsxutawney 

Meanwhile, liberal pundits marveled at the president’s rhetorical acrobatics. Not in recent memory has a presidential speech contained as many verbal somersaults as Obama’s did in Osawatunxamie.

While the president called attention to the inequality that exists in America, some reporters claimed that the speech was nothing more than Wall Street approved campaign rhetoric.

Theodore Roosevelt (1904) English: President o...

A man of the people. Where are such men now when their country needs them so desperately? Image via Wikipedia

After all the president’s gotta throw some kind of bone to the people if he hopes to win reelection – even if it’s a dry bone. And if he wins he can always take the bone back.

***

From the award winning UPW local newsroom:

A traffic accident has occurred at the intersection of Booth Street and State Highway 11. Follyland police report a car stalled on entering the highway and was hit in the rear by another vehicle traveling south on the state road. There were no injuries and only minor damage occurred to each vehicle. No summons were issued at the scene. Police said they will investigate further.

Police reported an accident on Dover Road near Lucifer Memorial Hospital. The fender bender occurred around 5:45 this evening slowing traffic during the rush hour. Again there were no injuries.

An incident on Highway 55 backed up traffic on the state road for a short time during rush hour while a wrecker extricated a vehicle stuck on a soft shoulder. The driver of the vehicle stated that he pulled to the side of the road while another vehicle attempted to pass and he was unable to avoid the shoulder The police report noted the incident occurred in a no passing zone.

We’ll continue with the daily traffic accident summary; and in other news city council to vote on Christmas party venue; teen wins skeet shooting contest and more from the award winning UPW newsroom after these messages.

***

The Environment Protection Agency reported the presence of toxic chemicals in the aquifer located near Pavillion WY’. The contamination occurred in an area in west central Wyoming near the cities of Riverton and Lander both just west of Casper. Also included in the unsafe water zone are several national parks the best known of which is Yellowstone.  Though the EPA confirmed the contamination, it remains to be seen how aggressively the agency will pursue its findings.

Toxic chemicals used in the hydro-fracturing process are the suspected source of the contamination. Fracturing, or fracking as it is commonly known, is a natural gas extraction process that injects huge quantities of water, sand and chemicals into underground shale layers using high pressure to crack or fracture the shale and release the gas.

Industry officials claim that fracking is a safe process that does not contaminate drinking water with the chemicals used to extract the gas.

However, many residents in areas where fracking is a common practice claim that the water smells of chemicals and is not safe to drink. Most have been employing filtering systems for years since unfiltered water that enters the home is not considered safe to consume.

Hundreds upon hundreds of wells exist in many areas and industry officials say all such drillings meet safety standards.

Residents refer to rules that dominate the industry. Rule 1: All wells meet safety standards. Rule 2: If a well does not meet safety standards, refer to rule one. In other words, wells are rarely shut down for any reason.

In some cases, the water is so contaminated with chemicals that it can be ignited as it runs from the faucets.

An industry executive, who spoke under conditions of anonymity, said that burning water can be a benefit as it provides additional heating in winter and helps lower utility bills.

File:USGS deep wells 1997.png

Areas of deep well drilling or potential drilling.

November 20, 2011

The DC Folly Trolley

Some comedian recently said that he would believe corporations were people when Georgia and Texas began executing them. Good idea but fat chance.

***

The DC Folly Trolley is filling rapidly with daft GOP candidates. Better buy a ticket and reserve your seat. The election is fast approaching and the Folly Trolley will depart on its journey across the nation in just a few weeks.

GOP Presidential Debate June 13, 2011 in New H...

From Flickr via Creative Commons License Share Alike in which we participate with attribution.

***

The latest candidate to board is Newt Gingrich. Is he for real or just the latest GOP flavor of the month?  Only the pundits in Follyland, DC can tell us.

A pundit has said that Gingrich is a stupid man’s idea of what a smart man sounds like. Well that’s probably because he has a mouth as big as a whale’s blow hole.

A whale blowing air through its blow hole after surfacing.  The blow hole acts as a whale’s nostrils.  Photo from a brochure for Harmony Bed and Breakfast, Seward, AK.

Newt Gingrich has the gift of gab. He uses it to pull the wool over the eyes of people who support him. He’s been doing that for decades. No reason to stop now. For half the population istworks very well. Some, like the Fox newsers, even provide the wool.

If his advisers can keep him on script, Gingrich has a shot at the nomination. Scripts aren’t the Newtster’s strong point. So it’s a tough assignment; the man has a hair trigger mouth.

***

If Newt wins the nomination does that mean his wife has to give back the Tiffany jewels he used to buy her off. Nah, Newt’s too decent a guy to demand something so cruel. But he has proposed putting 10 year old kids to work in the schools.

Gingrich's official portrait as Speaker

Image via Wikipedia

***

Perhaps you’ve heard by now, reports of Newton Leroy’s suggestion to put kids to work in their schools. No wage mentioned of course but probably something in the neighborhood of fifty cents an hour. That sounds about right.

Think of the possibilities such a program would spawn:

  1. It would eliminate high wage labor. To a Repub like Newton Leroy that’s ten bucks an hour.
  2. Allow schools to fire unionized janitors and lunch room personnel. Another good way to get rid of labor unions right wingers find so contemptible.
  3. It would also eliminate benefits for workers that Newton’s kids wouldn’t receive.
  4. Newton’s kids would greatly increase profits in privatized schools.
  5. The program would greatly increase the incentive to privatize more schools.
  6. Newton’s kids would reduce the cost of education so the Newtser could reduce property taxes – you guessed it – for rich people.

And how would Newton’s kids benefit from this nineteenth century thinking. Well, since they would now become working people they would no longer qualify for the school lunch program. So after three hours of labor they could pay for their own damn lunch, right Newt.

And now that the kids are making some big bucks, privately contracted food vendors could charge even more for their junk food – some of which is perfectly disgusting by the way. But, hey, it is bought and sold in a free market so it can’t be all bad.

So Newton Leroy strikes again. His idea will surely ignite support in the right wing Repub base.

***

The chairs of the super duper committee in Congress have admitted failure. But not so fast. They still have three days to figure out a way to screw working people.

***

Tax cut and spend Republicans have conspired for years to find a means to destroy the social safety net. They found the means when they bought the presidency for George W. Bush.

The Repubs cut taxes and spent with unmatched fury during the Bush years and now hope to bring their conspiracy to fruition.

Austerity is nothing more than a sneak attack on the working class the right wing abhors and of course on the hated social safety net.

So the Repubs want to spend, spend, spend – taxpayers money on their pet projects, on the war entitlement complex and on welfare for their big donor interests, the corporations.

They are determined to enhance the protection money conduit that lavishes hundreds of millions of dollars in cold cash on them and then to provide the protection – through favorable legislation – that the money buys.

To complete their destructive program, the right wing must destroy Obama along with its plan to abolish the middle class.

***

The real mystery in the right wing conspiracy is Barack Obama. His determination to assist right wing extremists in their war on Social Security and Medicare is incomprehensible. The man has been absolutely driven to cut these programs. Yet by doing so, he participates in the GOP plan to destroy his presidency. Go figure.

***

Think of Obama’s approach to the social safety net as murder. Social scientists tell us that the first one is the most difficult. All subsequent murders become easier and easier to commit. Does Obama not realize that the first adjustment these plans – will be the hardest to achieve? That if he succeeds even in bringing about the tiniest change he will open the floodgates to ever more changes until finally the programs are destroyed? Or is destruction his goal as well?

***

The four great ideas from Robert Reich represent good, common sense.

  1. No spending cuts until unemployment is down to 5%.
  2. A jobs program big enough to make a significant dent in unemployment.
  3. Raise taxes on the wealthy.
  4. Cut war entitlement spending and corporate welfare.

The right wing is aware of all of these ideas and knows well the success such a program will bring to the economy. However that is exactly the program they are hell bent on preventing.

Unfortunately the Backstabbers Wing of the Democratic party has joined with right wing Republicans to whittle away at the middle class and the covenant between the generations the social safety net represents.

The Republican governors of several states exposed the conspiracy for all to see: Tax cuts for the rich, spending cuts for the rest of us.

***

Spending is indeed on the rise. However, much of the increase is the result of war related costs and corporate welfare and does next to nothing to reduce unemployment.

Most of the deficit can be traced back to the Bush tax cuts, the Bush recession (both of which resulted in the collapse of revenue) and the unfunded Bush wars.

Given their recent tax cut and spending history Republicans are guilty of spectacular hypocrisy and monumental chutzpah.

***

One reason why voting in primary elections is so important: Since it is mainly the party faithful who vote in the primaries and they vote largely for, “safe”, established candidates, many other potential candidates are discouraged from entering the primary. However, large turnouts by progressives could change the landscape of general elections by placing liberals – still the messengers of the people – on the ballot.

***

Regardless of the support Obama gives to the conservative movement, they will never return the favor. Refer to McConnell’s statement that his job is to make Obama a one term president.

The Senate minority leader may well succeed. He has sabotaged all programs that might benefit the economy and the blame for his nefarious scheme seems to accruing to Obama.

***

If Obama’s policies favor conservatives it is because he needs their money. Every little bit helps if he is to become the first president to spend a billion dollars to purchase the office.

***

Tax cut and spend conservatives are responsible for the largest portion of the deficit. The Bush tax cuts, the Bush recession and the unfunded Bush wars resulted in massive expenditures and plunging revenues. Eliminate the tax cuts, the recession and reduce war entitlement spending and the deficit is quickly reversed.

***

Blue Dog Dems are not much better than a bunch of right wing Republicans. In fact they give the party of FDR a bad name.

Rahm was instrumental in creating the Backstabbers Wing of the Democratic party. Sure, they’re the lesser evil. But a slow, relentless evil nonetheless.

2010 was an opportunity to teach the right wing Democrats like Rahm a lesson. They never learn though because they don’t want to. They’re as much into the protection money race as the GOP. And they feel no guilt at helping their donors by voting for legislation that provides all the protection that special interests desire.

October 30, 2011

Nobella Committee Awards Prize

The Nobella Prize Committee Announces Winner in Duplicity Category.  Recipient Said to be Elated.

The Nobella Prize Committee today awarded the Schmuckup Prize in Duplicity to former US Speaker of the House and current GOP presidential candidate Newt Gingrich.  According to the committee, the former speaker has not only shown an extraordinary capacity for fornication; he also excels at prevarication.

Gingrich's official portrait as Speaker

Latest winner of the Schmuckup Prize, Newton Leroy Gingrich. Image via Wikipedia

Yes, indeed he’s an expert. One momentous example should suffice to expose Newton Leroy’s expertise in the Duplicity category. As a representative from Georgia, the Newtster voted numerous times for huge defense outlays that expanded the Federal deficit while presently decrying the deficit to which he and his Republican party cohorts were humongous contributors.

The committee decided to point out a second reason for awarding Newton Leroy the prize for Duplicity. It was just too juicy a tale to pass up.

File:Schweif eines Friesen.JPG.

Newt Gingrich is considered a “dark horse” candidate for the GOP presidential nomination. The photo is of an actual dark horse not to be confused with the former Speaker. (Photo courtesy of 4028mdk09).*


As Speaker of the House the portly pol giddily supported the impeachment of President Bill Clinton for his indiscretions while as speaker he remained quietly in the background during the proceedings. Largely due to his own blazing marital offenses and after his transgression were exposed, his in flagrante delicto behavior became scandal sheet headlines.  Being caught with his own pants down forced the Newster to keep his mighty mouth shut, a painful condition for this tongued gusher.  Under the circumstances the spicy speaker had little choice but to curl up in a corner with a blanket over his head during the entire impeachment debacle. He nevertheless secretly cheered his holier than thou GOP prosecutors on and on.  That kind on behavior, the committed noted, is Duplicity beyond the pale and another excellent reason for Newton Leroy being awarded the prize.


The Schmuckup Prize consists of a statuette called the Little Schmuckie. It is made of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard and is awarded while supplies last. Unfortunately for Newt Gingrich supplies just ran out.

Don Alfredo Vito Nobella established the Schmuckup Prize to recognize the achievements of liars, cheaters, crooks and thieves in the fields of finance, insurance and government. Over the years hundreds of thousands of members in these fields have been presented as nominees. The committee noted that tens of thousands in Washington, DC and on Wall Street qualified in 2010 alone.

Don Nobella wished to share with miscreants throughout the world some of the notoriety he earned in his insurance business. The Don still holds the record as the world’s best insurance salesmen. It was said of the Don he could close a sale with a simple knock on the door. The Don’s motto became famous across the length and breadth of Sicily: “You buy or you’re never heard from again.”

*As always, click the photo for link.