Posts tagged ‘Obama’

December 22, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley – 12/22/12

White House Desperate to Save GOP

Fearful that he might otherwise be forced to accept a liberal agenda, President Obama is said to be searching for ways to keep John Boehner’s chestnuts from roasting on an open fire.

It seems to me I’ve heard that song before.

English: U.S. President Barack Obama meets wit...

English: U.S. President Barack Obama meets with Speaker of the House John Boehner during the debt ceiling increase negotiations. The official White House caption says “President Barack Obama meets with Speaker of the House John Boehner on the patio near the Oval Office, Sunday, July 3, 2011. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s like old times.

.

Here’s the skinny and if you haven’t heard about it you need to tear up your Mayan calendar, come up out of the shelter and read the newspapers – if you can still find one.

Boehner proposed what he called “Plan B”, a scheme which would raise taxes only on incomes over $1,000,000, and then sent it to the House for a vote. He soon realized nobody gives a shit what he thinks anymore and was unable to corral enough Republican votes to pass the plan. So he tucked tail, withdrew the bill and slinked away.

Meanwhile, back at the White House, the president is said to be fearful that Democrats might win the House in the 2014 elections if he can’t find a way to rescue Boehner from the black hole of GOP political shenanigans.

Should the GOP go down to utter defeat, the president reasons, he might be compelled to accept the evil liberal agenda and, in so doing, abide by the will of the people, dreadful thought though that is in Follyland these days.

By contrast, Plan B will make anything Obama offers look good, regardless of how outrageous it might be.

Look for Obama to draw yet another line in the water at $500,000 for tax cuts. He will also chain Social Security to a new CPI, a move that will cut already inadequate benefits to an even more drastic level.  Will he or won’t he buy into the health care cost shifting scheme of raising the Medicare qualifying age to 67? When Obama is negotiating, nothing is final.  

..

In a similar vein, some time ago Nancy Pelosi abandoned her liberal economic leanings and announced she could support a deficit reduction plan along the lines of Obama’s Bowles/Simpson Cat Food Commission proposal. You remember, the failed plan killed overwhelmingly by the Committee members and that Obama keeps resurrecting.

President Barack Obama and Speaker of the Hous...

President Barack Obama and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi at the US Capitol. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The happy couple in happier times.

Along with massive tax cuts, that Commission advocated cuts to Social Security by binding the program to the inflation index called the chained CPI. Pelosi embraced the plan along with the SS reductions it included.

Both she and Obama strongly advocated for the cuts referring to them as a means to strengthen the nation’s retirement benefit plan.

Well, bless my soul, another DINO rises from the ashes of Obama’s 2010 election conflagration.

Pelosi did a political voltafaccia* and will now agree to whatever it is Obama sacrifices in negotiations with Republicans – Medicare, Social Security, tax cuts for the rich. Whatever! It doesn’t matter. Pelosi’s on board calling all of Obama’s safety net cuts “strengthening the program.”

VOLTAFACCIA

(Courtesy La Gazzetta di Viareggio by La Gazzetta di Viareggio is licensed under aCreative Commons Attribuzione – Non commerciale – Condividi allo stesso modo 3.0 Italia License)..

Reports have it that Pelosi’s turnabout was the result of strong-arm tactics by the White House which threatened to remove her from the leadership position she now occupies if she didn’t play ball. So she’s learned to throw the curve, the screwball and the cutter.

UPW correspondents also learned from an anonymous source that the minority leader was invited for a weekend of waterboarding at Gitmo before she finally recanted her liberal views toward the safety net.

According to the report, when Pelosi was questioned about the incident, she responded, “So I got a little thirsty.”

.

In any case, regarding “strengthening,” I’ve come up with a few ideas.

How about we strengthen Pelosi out of her leadership role and reform her to her original House role as a regular representative.

And if Barack Obama doesn’t come around and advocate for the issues he was elected to support, then liberals should reject his proposals, vote them down in the Senate and House and strengthen his position to a lame duck status even before his second term inauguration takes place.

Reform in this manner could well serve we, the majority of the people.

*(Translation: Volte-facia).

…..

Here’s some good news: Obama backed off his original negotiating demands.

The bad news: He isn’t finished negotiating.

God only knows where the Medicare qualifying age will land. And I have an unsettled feeling the Almighty is on Boehner’s side.

.

The chained CPI, which Obama agreed to and now doesn’t, wouldn’t be a bad idea if the president could only convince seniors to eat dried generic cat food with a little powdered milk.

Makes sense.  When you can’t afford to buy filet mignon the next logical purchase is feline cuisine.

That of course would be the first step. The next president could reduce the COLA even further.

Seniors could then pick through the dumpsters behind fast food restaurants. That doesn’t cost anything. We would then have a Z- CPI, that is, a zero inflation index.

Of course, seniors would have to be means tested to be allowed to pick through dumpsters. They would also need a photo ID called the Obamacard.

..

In keeping with the need to reduce the cost of health care, the Sardo Institute of Medical Supplies is offering a do-it-yourself open heart surgery kit.

For the low, low price of $19.95 you can have at your finger tips your very own open heart surgery packet complete with instructions. The kit includes everything you need to perform a medically approved operation.

And if you act right now we’ll include a second kit absolutely free, just pay shipping and handling.

And be sure to ask about our hip and knee replacement kits to increase your health care savings even more.

Just send $19.95 plus $5.95 shipping and handling to:

The Sardo Institute
PO Box 555 5555
Pasta Fagioli, Italy

Cash only please.

..

Speaking of the Mayan calendar, I checked the Internet all day on Dec. 21 and couldn’t find a single report proclaiming the world had ended. If anyone has any evidence that proves the world ended on that long anticipated day, please respond via the comments section.

I’ve been waiting for years for the mother of all fireworks displays and nothing has happened. Not yet anyway. What a bummer!

December 21. 2012.

The world would end at dawn today
I thought not to join the fray
So safely behind I gladly stayed
No never mind to the fuss I paid
Hoping to watch the fireworks display.
.
Alas it was never meant to be
The world now celebrates with glee
But never defy a Mayan seer
You’ll end up crouching in great fear
Begging forgiveness with a forlorn plea.
.
With a seer you never trifle
He’ll send your way an awful eyeful.
To display of his ancient might
He’ll mark you in his dreadful sight.
As demons and monsters your life ‘ll stifle.

..

Santa Saves The Day.

Sends Rudolph To Ward Off Mayan Demons.

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer became a hero for the second time in his centuries old life. You’ll recall that some decades ago Rudolph with his nose so bright guided Santa’s sleigh through the fog one Christmas eve.

The Mayan demons apparently mistook Rudolph for a human being.

That’s a human,” one demon was overheard saying. “Holy shit, we’ve got the wrong planet.” And off they went on a new mission.

Look for Jupiter to explode on December 25th, 2013 the day the demons are expected to arrive at that planet.

.

OK, OK, I know it’s bullshit. But it’s Saturday night and I got good at bullshiting back when I was still dating. Worked then. Doesn’t anymore.

..

Speaking of Santa Claus, we know he knows whose naughty or nice. But here’s a secret. Don’t breathe a word to anyone.  Did you know that Santa himself prefers naughty.

SEXY GIRL 1

Naughty Santa!

Related articles

Advertisements
March 18, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley

If Congress passes a law declaring sperm to be people, the population of the world will increase exponentially – like maybe a trillion to the tenth power. Any guess as to how many zeros that is? And that might not be enough.

Personhood for sperm raises a lot of questions. Would a dead sperm need a decent burial? Could be a quick fix for the unemployment problem, ya know. Everybody would have to become an undertaker. Which raises more the questions: Would a sperm have to be embalmed? How much would a casket cost? Who would send flowers? Would a sperm need life insurance? How much would it cost? Would government assistance be available if the sperm didn’t have an insurance policy? Would Obama submit legislation to Congress mandating that all sperm carry life insurance?

Warning:  If you have an aversion to dirty pictures, stop here.

File:Sperm-egg.jpg

A dirty picture of a sperm that survived.

***

Wouldn’t legislation requiring sperm to be considered people make all men mass murderers? And women accessories? At least in some cases?

Just asking.

***

Rick Santorum is now advocating a ban on the distribution of pornography. He probably doesn’t know this but that position could cost him the entire South in the general election. Per capita, the Bible Belt states spend more money on pornographic material than any other region in the nation.

He says pornography is toxic to marriage and relationships. Well, so is fracking. It is also harmful to people’s health – fracking that is – and so far as I know he hasn’t called for a ban on that. And no doubt never will.

But before we go any further, we suggest one of Santorum’s advisers explain to him just exactly what fracking is so he doesn’t get it confused with that other thing you aren’t supposed to do if you use birth control when you’re doing it.  (So far, the BC ban applies only to Catholics.  So far).

Whether he succeeds in banning dirty pictures or not, the issue is still a good way to rile up the “better than thou” folks, like ya know, Christians who want you to live your life the way they tell you to.

***

Catholics who use birth control are committing a sin that will condemn their immortal souls to the raging fires of Hell for all eternity. Also, the pope doesn’t approve.

I guess the church’s policy applies to women only. The old men of the church have always hated women and it’s the women who use most of the stuff. Not the men mind you – unless we’re speaking of condoms and vasectomies.

Yes. Ever since Eve, it’s always been those damn women. Just can’t keep from spreading their legs. The “aspirin between the knees” method just doesn’t seem to be working – even with a whole bottle of the stuff in the medicine cabinet.

And all those rumors you’ve been reading about priests, bishops and popes fucking their brains out over the centuries are just that – rumors.

OK. OK. So some popes have had kids (out of wedlock of course so as not to violate the church’s celibacy rule). But so what. That doesn’t mean they have to like it.

Nevertheless, I’ve never known a priest who carried an aspirin in his pocket when inviting a woman from the parish for whatcha call your “religious consultation.” Not all priests like little boys, ya know. Some actually like girls. Provided they’ve reached the age of consent, naturally. Or maybe a bored housewife or two. Who can tell?

Oh, father. I forgot my aspirin.”

Don’t worry, my child. You won’t be needing it tonight.”

***

The Westboro Baptist Church – you know, those fundamentalist folks who hate just about every type of human behavior except that which they specifically approve – is apparently preparing ads to be broadcast on the Rush Limbaugh show. Birds of a feather. Guess they haven’t heard the rumors about Rush’s past.

Viagra anyone. The Westboro Baptist Church would approve. Aren’t you lucky?  There isn’t a whole lot these extremists do like.  You could say intolerance is their message.

Jael Phelps picketing Trinity Episcopal Church...

(This photo is copyrighted but free to use for any purpose). Image via Wikipedia

Westboro Baptist Church Anti-Jewish Picketing

Yes, they do pretend to be Christians. Image via Wikipedia (Public domain).

***

It’s time for AARP to support increases in Social Security. Retirees have been cheated long enough by schemes that underestimate inflation and shortchange seniors.

Members must face up to the facts. AARP is basically an insurance agency, perhaps the largest agency in the world. It gives nothing to its members they don’t pay for in premiums and members should realize they are getting nothing in return they aren’t paying for.

As for the benefits it claims for members, many other organizations offer similar discounts.

The message from retirees to the executives of AARP is a simple one: Support increases to retirement programs or back off. You are either with the retirees or against them.

These meetings with the cut-and-gut crowd are totally unnecessary and uncalled for. In fact, they raise suspicions of a scam in the making.

***

There is one way the Ryan health insurance debacle can be rescued. That is for government to pay 100% of the premiums demanded by health insurance companies forever. Yeah, right.

The real scam of the Ryan plan is to dump medical costs of the elderly on to the individual whether or not he or she has insurance and can pay for the care. The plan’s terms can be summed up in one phrase: Can’t pay, no doctor. You’re on your own, pal.

We’ll all be retired someday and the American people have demonstrated time and again that they want the social programs now in place to remain a part of the nation’s social safety net. And are willing to pay for the programs through payroll deductions. The cut and gut politicians who are trying to destroy the programs are acting in defiance of the will of the people and on behalf of a tiny minority of the rich.

And now back to Paul Ryan (the one with the shit eating grin – see photo) the tax cut and spend right wing Republican. Ryan voted repeatedly and continuously to raise the deficit and spend, spend, spend during the Bush administration. The man is one of the biggest spenders in the GOP – and that takes some doing, for with few exceptions, Republicans have shown themselves to be among the biggest spenders on the planet.

File:Paul Ryan, official portrait, 111th Congress.jpg

***

Darrell Issa, entombed for eight years during the Bush Administration, has finally emerged from his cacoon.

He said we’ve been lied to by the Justice Department.

 

Well, for heaven’s sake. You don’t say.

We were lied to for eight years during the Bush administration. And Issa is just coming to the realization that government lies. Fasinating.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

November 24, 2011

Speaker “Loses” Amendment Vote

Yes, as many postesr have pointed out, it’s a con game. Even a feeble politician like Boehner knows how to set up a defeat and turn it into a victory.

The Speaker lost the vote on the balanced budget amendment. But he “fought” for it and by gosh those tax and spend Democrats voted down the bill and all the Speaker’s hard work. Yes, the whole affair was political theater. Here’s how it works.  Set up a defeat and blame the opposition.

Get it Obama. That’s how politics works in Follyland. Turn a defeat into victory but you set up the defeat in advance.

Oh, well. Obama and the Dems will never learn.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

http://goanimate.com/player/embed/0TP3e7IwV6So