Posts tagged ‘Opus Dei’

March 24, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley

Rick Santorum is apparently enamored of the practices of the devout Catholic organization known as Opus Dei or Work of God. Many members of this religious group devote their lives to emulating the suffering of Christ. Some adherents place spiked chains between their thighs to induce pain and so to demonstrate devotion to their crucified Savior.

Why, I even heard that some devotees employ whips, chains, constraints and other pain inducing devices to demonstrate their love.

Of course, I could be mistaking Opus Dei with other organizations I hear about from time to time. Then again, maybe not.

Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum (right) los...

Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum (right) lost a friendly football bet to Massachusetts Sen. Ted Kennedy. Here Santorum wears a Patriots hat and presents Kennedy and his staff with Philly cheesesteaks. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

OH MY GOD!!!  He’s a gambler!  Wave goodbye to the Bible Belt, Rick.

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Well, kids get rid of your hoodies and loosey jeans and buy you some suspenders.

I’m not African-American. I’m Italian. But a coupla days in the sun and I could get shot if I happen to be taking a walk in Florida.

And thanks for the tip, Geraldo. But don’t you think your comment will be bad for the hoodie business.

File:Geraldo Rivera.jpg

Great for suspender sales, but what about the hoodie business. Better start divesting.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

And here’s a tip from me. Next time you plan to go to Florida, practice your fast draw for a few days. I mean, who can tell, someone could mistake you for a drug dealer and you’ll be pushing up daisies in an orange grove. And it will all be your fault.

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The scuttlebutt around the Street is Jon Corzine mislaid a couple billion dollars. Hey! A billion here, a billion there. Who can keep track?

Jon Corzine, Governor and former Senator from ...

Oh, shit. Where did I put that damn billion anyway?. Jon Corzine, Governor and former Senator from New Jersey. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

By the way, Jon, could you see your way to lending me a fast mil.  I gotta fill up my SUV this weekend.

OK if I keep the change?

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Rick Santorum’s wife said this week that God is calling him to be president.

UPW’s Senior National News Correspondent Marcy Popindick intercepted a voice mail message from God to Santorum. (She did it in the United Kingdom so it’s OK; at least according to the policeman she bribed).

A transcript of the tape revealed the following recording:

Hello? Hello, Rick? God here. Answer the damn phone. I wish you’d keep your cell turned on. It’s a real pain in the ass trying to reach you. I’m not into all this texting bullshit, ya know. And it can be real distracting when you’re flying through all these clouds we’ve got up here.

I just want you to know you’ve got my vote, guy. Now don’t screw this thing up. The Empire needs you. You get elected, appoint a couple more Catholics to the Supreme Court and there’s a pope waiting in the wings who can run the whole planet. I gotta plan you haven’t seen since the popes fucked up the Crusades. This time it’ll work. And I’m talkin’ the whole planet here not just the Holy Land.

And keep you cell phone turned on. I hate this goddam voice mail . I can’t get a hold of anyone anymore. Not even the pope. Such bullshit you never heard:

‘Pax vobiscum. This is Pope Benedict the XVI. I’m either on the phone or taking another piss. Leave a message and I’ll call back as soon as I’m finished.’

You believe that shit. And I’m God for chrissakes.”

File:Popemobile passes the White House.jpg

Yes, there is a popemobile. With his money, he couldn’t do a little better?