Posts tagged ‘Same-sex marriage’

January 7, 2012

Nobella Committee Announces Award

Pasta Fagioli, Italy. Jan. 07, 2012

The Nobella Prize Committee Selects Rick Santorum As Winner of the MVP Award.

, U.S. Senator from Pennsylvania.

Former senator Rick Santorum. Image via Wikipedia

The Nobella Prize Committee today awarded its MVP prize to former Pennsylvania senator and current Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum for his work in Economics.

Mr. Santorum’s discovery that gay marriage is the cause of the Great Republican Recession won plaudits from right wing economists across the globe.

The former senator’s study faulting the breakdown of the family and a decline in moral values on what he referred to as “this whole redefintion of marriage”

Santorum blamed gay marriage for the moral failings of both Wall Street and Main Street and stated that this failure causes recessions. The committee inferred from Mr. Santorum’s findings that all we need to do is end gay marriage and kids will stop engaging in sexual relations after school (or at least say a prayer before they get laid), everybody will be blessed with morality by the Holy Spirit and we’ll all get rich.

The members of the committee stated that the strides made by Santorum’s findings will advance the knowledge of the counterfeit science and aid economists in predicting future recessions.  

The committee noted that economists have been wrong about predicting six out of the last five recessions.


Winners of The Most Valuable Putz Award receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize. .

These exceptional individuals also receive a statuette named the Pubar engraved with the words “putzed up beyond all reason.” Known as the Putzie the statuette is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard. The Putzie is given while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winner supplies just ran out.

From the UPW Newsroom reporting from Pasta Fagioli, Italy. UPW: Surpassing the Mainstream Media in reporting worthlessly useless news worldwide.

Pasta e fagioli soup

Pasta E Fagioli. Image via Wikipedia