Posts tagged ‘Simpson’

May 18, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 05/18/13

Really Bad News.

Want to hear some really bad news? The deficit is dwindling. Yes, that’s right, the deficit is falling. It will probably be less than 5% of GDP this year and a whole lot less than that next year, according to Paul Krugman.

English: "Paul Krugman lectured on "...

English: “Paul Krugman lectured on “After Bush – The End of the Neo-Conservatives and the Moment for the Democrats” to over 500 guests in the jam-packed big lecture hall at the German National Library in Frankfurt” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Barons von Simpson and von Bowles are in a tizzy. It’s been more than two years now since the two predicted the nation’s economy would implode in two years.

Well, it’s still going and the two aristocrats are still waiting for the fateful event and growing angrier by the minute that economic destruction isn’t happening the way they predicted.

Von Simpson is reported to have done a Rumpelstiltskin, pounding the floor so hard that he opened a hole and fell through.

And von Bowles, whose shouts set off alarms in the corporate media heard round the world, is said to be cooped up in his fancy digs attending only board gigs for which he receives a quarter of a million dollars, his voice now a veritable peep.


Erskine Bowles, as President of the University of North Carolina, signs an agreement with two generals of the U.S. Marine Corps. Bowles is a two time loser in campaigns for Senator from North Carolina. This loser’s political corpse has been repeatedly resurrected by President Obama each and every time he invokes the failed Cat Food Commission headed by Bowles and crotchety old geezer Alan Simpson.

In fact, if it were not for President Obama, in full Lazarus mode, repeatedly raising from the dead the failed Cat Food Commission headed by the two barons, Simpson and Bowles would have been cast long ago into history’s garbage dump.

Sadly for these Aesop weavers of economic fables, only a tiny elite still believe the fairy tales. And for these dogmatists, still mesmerized by the Pied Pipers of the Obama Cat Food Commission, the news is just as disheartening.

And so they pray to the gods von Simpson and von Bowles. “Oh, great soothsayers of economic calamity, here our pleadings and bring upon us the deficit doom we so fervently need to support our austerity dogma.”

But, alas, the news is all bad. The deficit is declining.


Stick ’em Up, Yee Lowly Varmint.

Five schools in the Pennsylvania State Higher Education System will allow students to carry guns on campus.

Kutztown, Shippensburg, Edinboro, Slippery Rock and Millersville University have concurred with the advice of an attorney that prohibiting guns on campus may be a violation of the state’s constitution.

In keeping with this advice the schools are instituting a Billy the Kid Curriculum to teach students when and how to use firearms, the art of the quick draw and rigging a holster to win in a shootout. Proper dueling etiquette will be a required three credit course for students who wish to complete the degree.

According to an administration official, the goal of the program will be to teach students how to survive in a fully armed society.


Jumping On The IRS.

Sarah Palin, the sage who can see Russia from her front porch if she stands on her tippy, tippy toes (well, she does live in Alaska and it’s only a hop, skip and a very cold swim across the Bering Strait to Siberia so maybe on a clear day, who knows) has accused the IRS of scrutinizing the affairs of right wing think tanks (oxymoron alert) in an effort to help President Obama get reelected.


Do you think my mouth is too big?

Not that Obama needed a whole lot of help to defeat the incredibly forgettable Mr. 47% what’s his name. Nevertheless, the IRS did check out groups whose names contained the words “tea party” or “patriot.”

It should all come to naught though. You see, tax laws are so rigged that almost any political group that supports one of the two major parties can get a tax exemption on a crooked politicians say so. And you know how many of those there are in Follyland alone.

Anyway, last year’s winner of The Schmuckup Prize in Geography for knowing where Africa is located (even though she needed two tries); former Miss Alaska and, if memory serves, a former governor, complained in her Facebook page that her best “tea party” buds were being unfairly treated by the IRS because it audited the organizations.

You’d think they were members of the 99% who, in case you’re wondering, are subjected to most of the audit notices.

The solution to this non-problem: Tax political contributions.


Bachmann Calls For Day Of Prayer.

Michele Bachmann called for a National Day of Prayer and Fasting to commemorate the 9/11 attacks and the Benghazi affair, which also occurred on 9/11.

Guess Michele isn’t getting much face time in the news these days. She must be suffering from Bachmann Attention Deficit Syndrome (BADS).


Not to worry.  Michele always has something up her sneaky sleeve.  A good way to rouse up the boys and girls in the corporate media is to call for prayer. That always gets their attention: A nice, safe non-news story splashed around the flat screen and the net can bring a reporter fame and fortune; and Bachmann some desperately needed relief from the BADS.

Not that we really need a day of prayer and fasting.  We can pray any time we want.  And fasting!  McDonald’s would have a canniption (and I’m not talkin’ beer here or pale ale for that matter). I mean no food for a day.  

Holy pepperoni pizza, Batman.  Do we really have to fast for a day to get Michele out of the BADS?

Hang on to your cape, Robin.  Do like me.  I plan to give up liver.


Bacsheesh For Obamacare.

Orrin Hatch is right. Grubbing for bucks to implement Obamacare is absurd.

But that’s exactly what Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius is doing: Making phone calls to big business to drum up payola for Obamacare.


Kathleen Sebelius – on the prowl for big spenders.  Meow.

Why any business should ante up is beyond me, except perhaps for some future political payoff. But then they’ve already got that covered.

Let’s face it, businesses don’t want to pay for health care. Health insurance companies don’t want to pay for health care.

Would that they would all get out of the field and leave us to our own devices.

The only thing worse than the current system is no system at all.

Unfortunately Obamacare does little to solve the real crisis in health care, unaffordable costs for all.  And it just keeps getting worse..