Posts tagged ‘Ted Cruz’

October 14, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 10/13/13

Committee On Shutdown.

10/11/13, Pasta Fagioli, Italy

The Nobella Prize Committee shutdown today when members refused to award prizes.

Committee member Pollo Cacciatore, who spoke under condition of strict anonymity, said his colleagues felt they were being overtaxed due to the heavy workload. The Committee is receiving nominations in record numbers.

Moreover, due to austerity measures imposed by the Executive Board of Directors, members have been furloughed one day a week and have suffered a 20% cut in pay.

Negotiations between members and the Executive Board ended in a stalemate and no new meetings have been scheduled. There is no end in sight to the shutdown.

Meanwhile, screening applications for nominees for the Most Valuable Putz Prize, which numbered in the tens of thousands over the intervening weeks, have been stalled. A member of the Executive Board indicated no date has been set for renewing the process for evaluating submissions.

putsie 1

The Putzie, sticking it to winners who earned the prize. Will the committee allow the member to go flaccid?

Unreliable News Worldwide has learned through a series of leaks the names of a number of hopefuls.

Among the nominees for the Putzie were Sen. Ted Cruz (his second nomination); Speaker of the House John Boehner (lost count); Rand Paul (R-KY); Renee Ellmers (R-NC); Louie Gohmert (some guy from Texas, where else); Steve Pearce (R-NM); Ann Romney (screen tested for the role of Catwoman in a Batman movie)

Gohmert was nominated for the prize in Mythology for his discovery that John McCain (R-AZ) was a supporter of the terrorist group al Qaeda.

Millionaire Steve Pearce received his nomination in Banksterism for his advice to furloughed government employees to seek loans in the free market from banks willing to lend money without collateral. The free market allows borrowers to shop for the most competitive interest rates, some reportedly as low as 330%.

Ellmers served her state proudly when she voted to furlough 800,000 federal workers and then refused to defer her own paycheck because as she said, she needed $174,000 to pay for her hair stylist.


Renee Ellmers (R-NC) pockets her $174,000 per year paycheck during the government shutdown.

Romney received her nomination for accusing voters of causing the government shutdown. There was widespread agreement among Republicans with her statement.

Damned if you do; damned if you don’t. Let’s face it, if you don’t vote in America, you can’t go wrong.

Nobella Committee member Cinque Formaggi Gorgonzola, who also spoke anonymously, said members voted to pay their salaries during the shutdown. Bills for cell phones, gymnasium memberships and country club dues would be paid as well. However, members agreed to limit visits to bordelli to one a day. The latter concession is expected to save thousands of euros weekly.

Marcy Popindick, Senior Foreign Affairs Correspondent for Unreliable News Worldwide, asked Gorgonzola if he wasn’t referring to the U.S. House of Representatives in his statement.

Magari,” he said. “How you say, eets a not a too clear over here a whats a going on over der a.”






Rats On Mars.

No, really. The NASA rover currently roving over the Red Planet discovered rodents among the rocks on the Fourth Planet from the Sun.

According to a statement from an NASA spokesperson, the rat in the photo is a member of a huge colony living on the surface of Mars.

The rats, he said, speak a peculiar language, similar to the one spoken in Follyland, DC. NSA code breakers are said to be working feverishly in an effort to translate the unfamiliar tongue.

One thing clear from the NSA efforts to date, however, is that the rats on Mars, unlike their brothers in Follyland, have a functioning government.


Make Mine A Double.

Republican lawmakers were spotted entering saloons in the Follyland area in in astonishingly high numbers last week. According to witnesses, the GOPers were observed entering in a sober state and left drunk.

So heavy was the drinking that residents in some areas of the city were reporting a strange smelling stench hanging over their neighborhoods. One resident said the miasma stank of beer, bourbon and vomit.

A Congressman who thought he might be from Texas and who spoke in a language similar to the one spoken by rats on Mars, said he didn’t care a human’s ass about what happened in the House of Representatives, he was going to vote in favor of the taxpayer picking up his bar tab.

The important work of Congress must go on,” he said.


Obama; Amabo. Wrong Way O!

During one of his weekly radio thingies, President Obama told the American people what hundreds of millions of us already know: Forces are conspiring against the middle class.


What the president left unsaid is that he is one of those forces.

Consider. Obama has led the charge to cut Social Security and Medicare, two extremely successful and well funded government programs that working people depend on during their retirement years.

Obama is also cheerleader-in-chief for the Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP), a trade agreement described as “NAFTA on steroids.”

Using his usual modus vivendi, the president is once again sneaking behind the backs of the American people trying desperately to keep deeply secret negotiations over this poisonous trade scam, one that poses the greatest of all threats against working people. The TPP abomination will drive the final nail into the coffin of the middle class.

bad hair day

The president showing great concern for the affairs swirling around him. “Oh, poopy,” he said. “Another bad hair day.”

Obama’s Labor Day paean to the working people is one with his classic diversionary tactics. It’s the way the man operates. He comes to praise the middle class, then to bury it.

While his aides were preparing the phony acclaim, Obama was no doubt burnishing his foot long stiletto which he intends to shove squarely between the shoulder blades of every working man and woman in the country.

Quo vadis, Obama? Need we even ask?  He is firmly entrenched in the 1%.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

September 29, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 09/29/13


Prize Announced.

Pasta Fagioli, Italy.

The Nobella Prize Committee announced just moments ago the latest winner of the MVP award.

The newest recipient of the Most Valuable Putz honor is Ted Cruz the notorious senator from the state of Texas.

Cruz won the award for his invention of a speech format known as the non-filibuster. The senator became the first politician to use his new creation while performing a 21 hour monologue in the chamber of that notoriously undemocratic body sometimes referred to as the United States Senate.


The semi-illustrious senator, one Teddy Cruz, from the once great state of Texas.

The Cruz creation, referred to as a non-filibuster, is defined as a diatribe that is not intended to forestall a vote on legislation not before the Senate. As such, such speechifying prevents nothing, accomplishes nothing and is good for nothing. The senator from Texas, most assuredly, can lay claim to being worthy of the prize named for the kind of behavior he so fruitlessly exhibited.

During his one man talk show, the host of the festivities read passages from Green Ham & Eggs by Dr. Seuss, a book that is reportedly a favorite among many Republicans.

Also noteworthy in the talkathon was the fact that Cruz stated unequivocally that he really liked White Castle hamburgers. (So what’s wrong with Steak & Shake).

Oh, I almost forgot. The freshman pol, affectionately known as “Teddy” to his friend in the Senate (yes, he does have one friend but that illuminary has refused to identify himself), mentioned his dislike for Obama’s Obamacare as well.

So, in recognition of his performance before that infamous deliberative institution, the members of the Nobella Prize Committee proudly granted to Sen. Teddy Cruz of Texas the Most Valuable Putz award.


Winners of The Most Valuable Putz Award receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize.

These exceptional individuals also receive a statuette named the Pubar which is engraved with the words “Putzed up beyond all reason.” Known as the Putzie, the coveted statuette is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard.

The Putzie is given while supplies last.  Unfortunately for the current winner supplies just ran out.


Dems Practice Mind Control.

A Colorado politician claimed this week that Democrats in his state are using mind control to force people to accept “homosexual marriage.”

Given that the vast majority of Democrats already accept marriage equality, Kent Lambert must be referring to his fellow Repubs.

It’s hard to accept the “mind control” premise, however. There’s so very little to control.


Mendacity Squared.

If a president of the United States is a lying son of a bitch, is it OK to call him a lying son of a bitch.

Some people would say that we should not refer to a president who is a lying son of a bitch as such out of respect for the office.

However, a president who is a lying son of a bitch obviously has no respect for the office he holds so is there any reason at all why anyone else should respect the office or its occupant

So it’s OK to call anyone who parks his mendacious ass in the Oval Office a lying son of a bitch.

There is one small problem here, however. Can you think of any president who wasn’t a lying son of a bitch?

The most recent three, Obama, Bush and Clinton, certainly earned that sobriquet.


Another representative from the once great state of Texas.

Let’s look at some of the lies told by the present occupant of that once honorable but now defiled office.

Comparing the candidates soaring 2008 campaign speeches with performance, it is obvious that Obama was lying through his teeth during his entire run for office.

Consider just a handful of promises that transformed lofty ideals into the “hopey-changey thing.”

For example, candidate Obama vowed to walk beside union workers in picket lines.

So where was “President” Obama when Gov. Scott Walker and his henchmen in the legislature and the courts of Wisconsin demeaned public employees who protested in march after march the cuts to earned benefits they suffered under Republican tyranny in that sorrowful state..

From the White House came a telling silence. It seems the president developed a rare and mysterious disease known as BTB syndrome. He must have acquired a blister on his big toe, a condition that apparently recurs during each and every labor protest, that prevents him from fulfilling his promise to stand beside his supporters while they marched against cuts to hard earned benefits.

And during the protracted Occupy Movement, when the president had numerous opportunities to redeem himself, what did we hear from the Oval Office? The same roaring silence as before.

wis protest

The president stayed toasty warm in his White House digs during the Wisconsin protests.


Another of candidate Obama’s peeves was campaign payola. He decried campaign contributions and called the system corrupt in numerous speeches, particularly venting anger at lobbyists. Then, in office, he did nothing except to raise ever more payola than his opponents – nearly $750,000,000 in all.


The public option, remember that. Obama proclaimed his support for one repeatedly.

He then went back on his word. But worse than that, he became the Sneak-In-Chief when he and his henchmen negotiated with drug industry czar Billy Tauzin promising to keep hands off pharmaceutical profits and to block Congressional efforts to allow Medicare to negotiate drug prices. He did this in secret meetings in exchange for industry support for Obamacare.

The flim flam was of course exposed and because of Obama’s behind the back wheeling and dealing, Democrats were crushed in the 2010 elections and lost the House. In effect, Obama destroyed Nancy Pelosi’s Speakership and now must contend with an intransigent, mindless Tea Party lower chamber.

Sadly, for this hapless president, he has no one to blame but himself.


As a candidate, Obama promised to end the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. So what did he do? Continued both for years and actually stepped up the war in Afghanistan with the infusion of thousands of combat troops. Although it must be noted that Obama, to the disbelief of supporters, did indicate that he would commit troops to a “surge” in Afghanistan.

Our military would still be fighting the Bush/Obama wars in both countries if it had not been booted out by the leaders of those ill-treated nations.


Obama accelerated the drone attacks begun by the Bush administration. By all accounts, these sneak attacks kill more innocent people than the terrorists they’re aimed at and engender both bitterness and hatred against the United States in all countries in which they are launched. Polls in Pakistan alone confirm the deep resentment toward America held by people of nations under drone attack.

bo head


There are numerous other ways in which candidate Obama backed away from the promises of “hope and change” he proclaimed in his speeches. Read just a handful of them and it will be difficult not to agree that as president, Obama has revealed himself to be nothing more than a ruthless pol who earned his bone fides in the rough and tumble of down and dirty Chicago politics.

Tribal Democrats, who would vote for the devil if he wrapped himself in the Party’s mantle, accept unquestioningly Obama’s performance in office and blow off his mendacity by making excuses for the sharply conservative direction he’s moving the country in.


Excuses for the president’s back stabbing behavior can be logged in the comments section.

Here’s a short list of some excuse makers. You are welcome to add to or join the list.


Get Ready for Hillary.

Tribal Democrats are positively salivating over the possible run for president of former Secretary of State and senator from Wall Street, the one and only Hillary Clinton.

Here’s something to chill the hot drooling: Hillary accepted payola during her campaigns for the Senate from the likes of Rupert Murdock and execs in Wall Street firms who are among her best buddies.

Moreover, her recent performance before the Carlyle Group millionaires club was intended to send the clear message that she’s “ready to play ball in exchange for payola.”

The Carlyle Group is the many tentacled hedge fund engaged in private equity deals similar to Mitt Romney’s Bain Capital.

Her appearance at this benighted group of one percenters reinforces the reality that to win in American politics, you gotta have the geetus. It’s the scratch that runs government in this country and Hillary demonstrated how well she knows that pitiful truth.


Here’s a short video of Barack Obama informing us of what we already know-there are forces conspiring against the middle class. What many don’t know or refuse to admit is that Obama himself is one of those forces. Read only a little about the Trans Pacific Partnership, described as NAFTA on steroids, and realize that the president is a powerful advocate of that nefarious trade scam, and you will agree.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost


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