Posts tagged ‘Texas’

June 8, 2014

The DC Folly Trolley – 06/08/14.

A debate for the ages.

The nation’s Great Climate Debate
With most it won’t resonate.
So what will it take
To convince it’s not fake.
Since after the flood it’s too late.

 

comic climate

 

clown 1

 

And now a word from the semi-esteemed Senator from Florida. “Come on down folks and enjoy the cool Miami weather.

Don’t you pay no never mind to all those bogus climate change ideas them fancy liberals is spoutin’ ’bout.

Oh, and don’t forget to pack the mittens.”

comic climate 2

clown 1

 

And now for a word from the semi-esteemed governor of Texas. “Ain’t no sech a thang as climate change, folks. It ain’t nothin’ mo’ than a liberal plot to brang commanism to the U S of A.”  

comic climate 3

 

clown 1

 

 

And now for a word from the semi-esteemed senator from the state of Tennessee. “Them greenies is meaning to grab them up some mo’ gubmint cash. That thar climate change is nothin’ but a money grabbin’ commanist plot.”

 

comics climate 4

 

 

clown 1

 

 

 

climate 5

 

clown 1

 

 

climate 6

 

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Limerick Lunacy.

 
A fellow was trying to write
To a gal his heart she did smite.
He copied a poem
He found in a tome.
John Donne never failed to delight.
.
A gal was engaged in a rite
Putting on jeans too tight
She huffed and puffed
And soon had enough.
But was glad they came off last night.
.
A gal was engaged in a rite
Putting on jeans too tight
She was really hot stuff
But would quickly rebuff
All the guys she would smite at first sight.
.
We’re lost. You were s’posed to turn right.”
It’s dark and we’re now out of sight.”
So let’s go to the lake
Just for old times’ sake
And make love like we did our first night.”
.
Her eyes were the color of slate
Her best feature there is no debate.
They dance when she smiles
Enhance all her wiles
As she conquers poor mate after mate.
.
Her eyes were the color of slate
In a mate a lust they’d create.
So she’d lead them along
Then sing a sad song
And leave the poor mate at the gate.
.
Her eyes were the color of slate.
Though their charm invited a fete
T’was her dance in a thong
That thrilled the great throng
As she twerked to a feverish state.
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July 14, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 07/14/13

Deja Vu Vu Vu.

It seems to me I’ve heard that song before.

Harry Reid, you know him, the Senate’s Democratic Leader, has threatened again to end the filibuster, albeit only for White House administrative appointees and not for legislation or judicial nominees.

I suspect Reid will get one or two consolation appointments approved just to mollify him but not much more.

duo

The dastardly duo and masters of Senate malfeasance:  The bluffer and the blocker.  

The Democrats, you see, want the filibuster to continue. They love the filibuster, they adore the filibuster. The filibuster permits them to proclaim loudly in support of legislation that they want to fail in the Senate.

That legislation is mostly suck up bills to appease their base. However, that same legislation would anger the payola – Wall Street and corporations that buy up the seats in that ignominious chamber.

They can then claim to the payola that, that even though they voted for the bill, they really didn’t want the legislation to pass. They just let the GOP do their dirty work.

I really wonder if Reid can get 51 votes from his Dems to implement the so called “nuclear option” to end filibustering.

Long live the filibuster.

***

Motorcycle Mania.

The North Carolina House passed a motorcycle safety bill this week and sneakily attached to it a rider that would severely limit access to abortions in the State.

Gov. Pat McCrory, who promised during the campaign not to sign additional anti-abortion legislation, fibbed. He did a voltafaccia, a complete 180 degree turn, and said he would sign the bill into law if it passed the NC Senate.

Could he be sniffing the winds for 2016? His positions have become so radically conservative that he’s now considered a right wing darling. He’s probably maneuvering for a VP nod, a move that would take NC out of play in the next presidential election.

mccrory1

Just another right wing GOP governor sniffing the political winds for 2016.

On a positive note about the bill, it does not specifically prohibit a woman from obtaining an abortion while riding a motorcycle.

That’s a relief.

***

The Texas Terrorist.

Ladies who entered the Texas State Capitol building had their purses searched by State Troopers who proceeded to remove all tampons from the handbags.

Texas State Capitol during the Summer of 2005

The tampon-free zone – the Texas State Capitol.  Troopers courageously removed the devices from the purses of ladies attempting to sneak them into the building.

UPW News Super Senior Correspondent Marcy Popindick reporting from Austin, said she overheard a trooper fingering the strange device telling a woman whose purse he was searching that “we doesn’t allow no improvised explosive devices in this here building.”

While removing the tampons, he said, “You just cain’t trust none of these here pro-abortion terarists.”

Firearms, however, were not confiscated.

Ms. Popindick reported that a member of the Texas Taliban state senate, promised to introduce free carry legislation that would allow women to bring tampons into all public buildings in the great land of the Alamo.

rick perry

Texas Gov. Rick Perry sniffing the political air to ascertain support for a 2016 run for the presidency. His chances improved dramatically when legislators promised to pass a free carry tampon bill. 

***

A Kidney To The Poor.

According to Dean Baker, right wing economist Greg Mankiw, compared progressive taxation to removing a kidney from rich people for transplanting into the poor.

There’s something wrong with Mankiw’s assertion here.

After all, a rich person can have his kidney removed in the private clinic on his yacht.

How much of an inconvenience could that be?

Actually, progressive taxation is a lot less painful and a patriotic duty.

Our pampered rich should skip the surgical procedure and start paying what they rightfully owe.

***

Pissy Walmart Exec.

The Washington DC city council is considering a bill that would raise the city’s hourly minimum wage for employees of big box retailers to $12.50. Working 40 hours a week, a person at that rate would earn an annual income of $26,000. In DC, apparently, that wage will get you by.

In response, a Walmart executive threatened a pull out from the city.

walmart

The Walmart shuffle: Bust into a town; demand outrageous tax concessions; pay wages so low that it forces employees to seek public assistance; kill mom and pop businesses; destroy local jobs and competition and crush whole neighborhoods; then claim to be a good neighbor and a job creator while pocketing countless billions of dollars in exploitative profits.

I have a better suggestion. Why not just kick them out instead. Walmart stands to earn hundreds of million of dollars in profit doing business in DC offering poverty level wages and no benefits often forcing employees to depend on food stamps and Medicaid. These public services, by the way, are entitlements to Walmart that it and other corporations benefit from greatly.

And getting Walmart out of the community, any community, would benefit that community in a number of ways, not the least of which is an inducement to private, small businesses to open up shop.

Remember the “mom and pop” stores. Walmart killed them off by the millions thereby throwing millions of workers into unemployment and starving wage jobs.

In fact, Walmart and other big box retailers, have been job destroyers, by some estimates killing off 3 jobs for every 1 created.

When you consider the tax inducements and other breaks the big boxers receive for barging in, it’s easy to understand how such retailers can be a detriment to the prosperity of a community – paying poverty level wages, forcing workers to depend on public services and reducing the overall tax base for the community they brag about serving.

Want to get your neighborhood back on its feet? Consider dumping Walmart and the other big boxers.

How? Raise the minimum wage. Walmart hates it and maybe, just maybe, they’ll get the hell outta town and “downtowns” will spring up all over the country once again.

***

A Day To Behold.

The day we long for all year has arrived once again. Is it Christmas? Is it Thanksgiving? Halloween? Labor Day? The Fourth of July?

No, it’s National Nude Day. And today is that day. And why shouldn’t there be a national day for nudity. After all, there are days for condoms and toilet paper and all manner of other events, articles and subjects worthy of celebration.

nude day

And just in case anyone is wondering. No. That isn’t a picture of me. It’s actually a painting by Eugene Emmanuel Amaury Daval (1808-1885) entitled The Birth of Venus).

And here is my paean to National Nude Day.

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There once was a dude quite crude
Who often pranced around nude.
With assets astonishing
But a wife admonishing
The dude so imbued found a feud soon ensued.

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Related articles

November 20, 2011

The DC Folly Trolley

Some comedian recently said that he would believe corporations were people when Georgia and Texas began executing them. Good idea but fat chance.

***

The DC Folly Trolley is filling rapidly with daft GOP candidates. Better buy a ticket and reserve your seat. The election is fast approaching and the Folly Trolley will depart on its journey across the nation in just a few weeks.

GOP Presidential Debate June 13, 2011 in New H...

From Flickr via Creative Commons License Share Alike in which we participate with attribution.

***

The latest candidate to board is Newt Gingrich. Is he for real or just the latest GOP flavor of the month?  Only the pundits in Follyland, DC can tell us.

A pundit has said that Gingrich is a stupid man’s idea of what a smart man sounds like. Well that’s probably because he has a mouth as big as a whale’s blow hole.

A whale blowing air through its blow hole after surfacing.  The blow hole acts as a whale’s nostrils.  Photo from a brochure for Harmony Bed and Breakfast, Seward, AK.

Newt Gingrich has the gift of gab. He uses it to pull the wool over the eyes of people who support him. He’s been doing that for decades. No reason to stop now. For half the population istworks very well. Some, like the Fox newsers, even provide the wool.

If his advisers can keep him on script, Gingrich has a shot at the nomination. Scripts aren’t the Newtster’s strong point. So it’s a tough assignment; the man has a hair trigger mouth.

***

If Newt wins the nomination does that mean his wife has to give back the Tiffany jewels he used to buy her off. Nah, Newt’s too decent a guy to demand something so cruel. But he has proposed putting 10 year old kids to work in the schools.

Gingrich's official portrait as Speaker

Image via Wikipedia

***

Perhaps you’ve heard by now, reports of Newton Leroy’s suggestion to put kids to work in their schools. No wage mentioned of course but probably something in the neighborhood of fifty cents an hour. That sounds about right.

Think of the possibilities such a program would spawn:

  1. It would eliminate high wage labor. To a Repub like Newton Leroy that’s ten bucks an hour.
  2. Allow schools to fire unionized janitors and lunch room personnel. Another good way to get rid of labor unions right wingers find so contemptible.
  3. It would also eliminate benefits for workers that Newton’s kids wouldn’t receive.
  4. Newton’s kids would greatly increase profits in privatized schools.
  5. The program would greatly increase the incentive to privatize more schools.
  6. Newton’s kids would reduce the cost of education so the Newtser could reduce property taxes – you guessed it – for rich people.

And how would Newton’s kids benefit from this nineteenth century thinking. Well, since they would now become working people they would no longer qualify for the school lunch program. So after three hours of labor they could pay for their own damn lunch, right Newt.

And now that the kids are making some big bucks, privately contracted food vendors could charge even more for their junk food – some of which is perfectly disgusting by the way. But, hey, it is bought and sold in a free market so it can’t be all bad.

So Newton Leroy strikes again. His idea will surely ignite support in the right wing Repub base.

***

The chairs of the super duper committee in Congress have admitted failure. But not so fast. They still have three days to figure out a way to screw working people.

***

Tax cut and spend Republicans have conspired for years to find a means to destroy the social safety net. They found the means when they bought the presidency for George W. Bush.

The Repubs cut taxes and spent with unmatched fury during the Bush years and now hope to bring their conspiracy to fruition.

Austerity is nothing more than a sneak attack on the working class the right wing abhors and of course on the hated social safety net.

So the Repubs want to spend, spend, spend – taxpayers money on their pet projects, on the war entitlement complex and on welfare for their big donor interests, the corporations.

They are determined to enhance the protection money conduit that lavishes hundreds of millions of dollars in cold cash on them and then to provide the protection – through favorable legislation – that the money buys.

To complete their destructive program, the right wing must destroy Obama along with its plan to abolish the middle class.

***

The real mystery in the right wing conspiracy is Barack Obama. His determination to assist right wing extremists in their war on Social Security and Medicare is incomprehensible. The man has been absolutely driven to cut these programs. Yet by doing so, he participates in the GOP plan to destroy his presidency. Go figure.

***

Think of Obama’s approach to the social safety net as murder. Social scientists tell us that the first one is the most difficult. All subsequent murders become easier and easier to commit. Does Obama not realize that the first adjustment these plans – will be the hardest to achieve? That if he succeeds even in bringing about the tiniest change he will open the floodgates to ever more changes until finally the programs are destroyed? Or is destruction his goal as well?

***

The four great ideas from Robert Reich represent good, common sense.

  1. No spending cuts until unemployment is down to 5%.
  2. A jobs program big enough to make a significant dent in unemployment.
  3. Raise taxes on the wealthy.
  4. Cut war entitlement spending and corporate welfare.

The right wing is aware of all of these ideas and knows well the success such a program will bring to the economy. However that is exactly the program they are hell bent on preventing.

Unfortunately the Backstabbers Wing of the Democratic party has joined with right wing Republicans to whittle away at the middle class and the covenant between the generations the social safety net represents.

The Republican governors of several states exposed the conspiracy for all to see: Tax cuts for the rich, spending cuts for the rest of us.

***

Spending is indeed on the rise. However, much of the increase is the result of war related costs and corporate welfare and does next to nothing to reduce unemployment.

Most of the deficit can be traced back to the Bush tax cuts, the Bush recession (both of which resulted in the collapse of revenue) and the unfunded Bush wars.

Given their recent tax cut and spending history Republicans are guilty of spectacular hypocrisy and monumental chutzpah.

***

One reason why voting in primary elections is so important: Since it is mainly the party faithful who vote in the primaries and they vote largely for, “safe”, established candidates, many other potential candidates are discouraged from entering the primary. However, large turnouts by progressives could change the landscape of general elections by placing liberals – still the messengers of the people – on the ballot.

***

Regardless of the support Obama gives to the conservative movement, they will never return the favor. Refer to McConnell’s statement that his job is to make Obama a one term president.

The Senate minority leader may well succeed. He has sabotaged all programs that might benefit the economy and the blame for his nefarious scheme seems to accruing to Obama.

***

If Obama’s policies favor conservatives it is because he needs their money. Every little bit helps if he is to become the first president to spend a billion dollars to purchase the office.

***

Tax cut and spend conservatives are responsible for the largest portion of the deficit. The Bush tax cuts, the Bush recession and the unfunded Bush wars resulted in massive expenditures and plunging revenues. Eliminate the tax cuts, the recession and reduce war entitlement spending and the deficit is quickly reversed.

***

Blue Dog Dems are not much better than a bunch of right wing Republicans. In fact they give the party of FDR a bad name.

Rahm was instrumental in creating the Backstabbers Wing of the Democratic party. Sure, they’re the lesser evil. But a slow, relentless evil nonetheless.

2010 was an opportunity to teach the right wing Democrats like Rahm a lesson. They never learn though because they don’t want to. They’re as much into the protection money race as the GOP. And they feel no guilt at helping their donors by voting for legislation that provides all the protection that special interests desire.

November 2, 2011

Nobella Committee Awards Putz Prize

Committee Gives Award in Obfuscation to Rick Perry.

Perry hits a ten on the Rickster Scale.

Perry hits a ten on the Rickster Scale.

The Nobella Prize Committee announced a few moments ago that Gov. Rick Perry of Texas has won the Putz Prize in Obfuscation.

The governor won for his impression of Archie Bunker during a statement he made on Beat the Press regarding Social Security.

The governor has referred to Social Security as a Ponzi Scheme and recommended the fund be profitized and the payroll tax turned over to Wall Street con men.

On Beat the Press however, Perry gave his clearest explanation thus far regarding his plans for Social Security which loosely translated into Italian means “private accounts or whatever.”

The Committee interviewed citizens of the US randomly and asked them to give their opinion of Perry’s most recent idea.. A resident of Queens, Mrs. Edith Bunker, commented that “whatever” has been her husband’s plan for just about everything ever since she married him.

Oh, wait til I tell Archie that Rick Perry is using his idea for Social Security.”

When hearing of the award, Perry is reported to have said: “I never obfuscated in my life. I’m a happily married man.

Social Security Poster: old man

Wait til Rick Perry gets hold of your SS money. He'll give it to Wall Street and you are gonna get rich - after fees of course. Image via Wikipedia

The Putz Prize consists of a statuette sculpted from rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard. The statuette, known the world over as the Putzie, is given to winners while supplies last. Unfortunately for Governor Perry supplies just ran out.