Posts tagged ‘United States public debt’

January 20, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 01/20/13

Lisa Defiant

Lisa Murkowski (I-AK) defied the order of Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) to vote to reject an increase in the debt ceiling.

According to a spokesman, McConnell is now suffering from severe constipation since being confronted by the unexpected defiance.

The GOP leader was also angered by a statement from Susan Collins, the Maine Republican, who insisted that the debt ceiling must be raised. So upset was the Kentucky senator at Collins’ betrayal that he apparently confused his Viagra pill with Flomax and has been observed dashing to restrooms with a bulge in his pants.

SUSAN

The ladies strike back. Susan Collins, senator from Maine.

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Mitch McConnell mixed a Viagra
With his Flomax; now goes like Niagara.
To the restroom he keeps dashing
His swollen pants can’t keep from flashing
A bump like a corn ear from ConAgra.

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GOP Offers Debt Limit Increase.

Some members of the House GOP agreed to extend the debt ceiling by three months. However, Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi rejected the offer demanding a clean increase.

In response, according an anonymous source, the House Republican caucus offered to extend the debt limit for three minutes once a month.

Extending the limit by this number would allow the Treasury to pay all of nation’s debts on time. They’d just have to do it very, very fast.

Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner said he would have to resort to blood doping to move that quickly.

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Right Wing Insists On Benefit Cuts To Pass Budget.

Mitch McConnell once again called for drastic spending cuts if Republicans in the Senate are to vote in favor of a new budget.

McConnell’s statement can be summed up in a few words: Cut Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid benefits.

The senator paused for a moment to reach for a handkerchief to wipe the drool spilling over his lips and down his chin.

The cuts to safety net benefits the senator referred to are nothing new and the benefits are those the vast majority of Americans depend on to maintain a modest lifestyle after retirement.

They are also the benefits Republicans and their benefactors want to get their greedy little hands on either through profitization or tax cuts or both.

In a nutshell, it all boils down to class warfare by the rich upon the rest of us.

The senator again wiped the drool from his chin.

…….

Chairman Warns Against Afghan Troop Reductions.

Sen. Carl Levin, the Democrat from Michigan who chairs the Armed Services Committee, appealed to President Obama not to reduce the troops in Afghanistan by one third after 2015.

Levin said a substantial force will be needed to combat al Qaeda well beyond the date set by the president.

LEVIN

The $3 trillion dollars in rare natural resources the country possesses had nothing to do with the senator’s appeal.

But, a little here, a little there couldn’t hurt.

Levin, by the way, is one of the senators whose fancy footwork has all but scuttled filibuster reform.

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Sad Times For A Bankster

JPMorgan Chase lost some $6 billion dollars last year due to  risky trading schemes. Because of this trading adventurism El Presidente Jamie Dimon, the leader of the bankster pack, suffered a massive decrease in salary of about one half his previous earnings.

Dimon (perhaps you’ve heard of him in connection with taxpayer bailouts of failed banks that engaged in mortgage fraud practices) whose total compensation package will amount to little more than $11 million dollars this year, is said to be suffering from a malady known to Wall Streeters as Cash Reduction of Annual Pay Syndrome or CRAP.

While few bank CEOs ever contract CRAP, many Street executives live in fear of the syndrome since all are susceptible to the disease when they get caught cheating people out of their investments.

So for those, like Dimon, who get their greedy little fingers entangled in derivative scams and who fall victim to CRAP, here are a few suggestions for coping from The Sardo Institute’s survival manual entitled Getting By On $11 Million Dollars A Year:

  • Omit Beluga from the menu. Switch to a less expensive caviar such as the roe from salmon. One, of course, does have to acquire a taste for the inferior brand. However, the sturgeon population in the Black and Caspian Seas is diminishing and the fish and its eggs could become extinct at some point thereby forcing a switch to less desirable delicacies in the future.  So be the first in your country club….
  • Switch from Dom Perignon to less expensive champagne such as Andre-Brut which a servant can purchase at the local grocery store for five or six bucks a bottle.
  • Serve Gallo Brothers wines at your next shindig. They’re even cheaper when you buy by the gallon. Have your sommelier decant into Dom Perignon empties you’ve accumlated. Who’ll know?
  • Shop around for a country club with cheaper fees. Negotiate with the committee.
  • Dine out less.
  • Learn to tolerate a Big Mac. You’ll discover the intricacies of the delicately blended special sauce and savor the delights of the sesame seed bun.
  • Reduce the household staff.
  • Sell one of the villas.
  • Dock the yacht for a month or two each year. Put the captain on unpaid furlough.

There are many other ways to stretch a budget. With a little imagination you’ll find you too can survive on $11 million dollars a year.

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The rich are in a pickle
With debt ceiling policy now fickle
Where to put all the dough
When government stops the flow
Of interest on bonds that won’t earn a nickel.

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Trillion Dollar Coins Nixed.

President Obama rejected the notion of having the Treasury mint trillion dollar coins as a means of sidestepping the debt ceiling imposed by Congress.

I guess that means my request for two of the coins has been shot down.

The trillion dollar coin has been nixed
So the debt ceiling now can’t be fixed.
Republicans are firm
Making Democrats squirm
But views on the outcome are still mixed.
December 16, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley – 12/16/12

Pasta Fagioli, Italy

December 14, 2012

Committee Grants Award

The Nobella Committee today announced the winner of the Schmuckup Prize.

mcconnell

The latest honor went to none other than Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell of Kentucky.

The senator introduced legislation that would allow the president to increase the debt ceiling with the approval of Congress. McConnell apparently expected the Democrats to reject the proposal thereby giving the Minority Leader the ammunition to accuse the Dems of voting against an opportunity to increase the debt limit.

However, Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) accepted the offer thereby forcing McConnell to filibuster a bill he himself had introduced.

Wow. What a schmuckup that was.

McConnell, affectionately known as “turtle” to the American people, was also voted the least liked senator in the nation. Yes, the Kentucky senator is recognized as a really, really big GOP meanie.

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Winners of The Schmuckup Prize receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize.

In addition, winners are given the coveted statuette called The Little Schmucky engraved with the words “Schmucked up beyond all reason.” The Little Schmucky is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard. All prizes are awarded while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winner supplies just ran out.

From the UPW Newsroom: Surpassing the Mainstream Media in reporting worthlessly useless news worldwide.

Debt Ceiling Bluff Called By Harry Reid, Leaving Mitch McConnell To Filibuster Himself

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Some constitutional scholars contend that the president has the Fourteenth Amendment at his disposal in the fight against Republicans who are holding the “debt ceiling” hostage by refusing to raise the level.

Here is the relevant section of the amendment:

Section 4. The validity of the public debt of the United States, authorized by law, including debts incurred for payment of pensions and bounties for services in suppressing insurrection or rebellion, shall not be questioned.

It appears that the president is indeed authorized to take what ever measure are necessary to meet the existing obligations of the government including those in the existing budget without regard for the ceiling. Debt not yet authorized, however, is excluded.

So why doesn’t Obama take this obvious pathway and simply authorized the Treasury to pay the debt through the sale of bonds?

One explanation is that the president simply does not want to use this “out.”

Been there, done that.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

From day one, Obama has been determined to cut the safety net and the conventional wisdom in Washington is that only a Democratic president can bring about the cuts.

Once the reductions are agreed upon, Obama then has the “excuse” he needs to blame the obstructionist GOP for “forcing” him to take action against the overwhelming opposition of his progressive base.

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Being a politician in our nation’s capitol can be fun. Here in limerick form is an abbreviated biography of one Enos Throckmorton Periwinkle and his misadventures in Washington DC.

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A rep by name of amorous Enos
Had a truly enormous penis
God help us that thing’s prodigious.”
Gals always said something religious.
Pray let him come stiffly between us.”
.
Now Enos was glad that size didn’t matter.
His asset could fill a turkey platter.
The gals of course could not resist
And Enos so blessed would not desist.
‘Round the town his seed he’d scatter.
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A tool of truly Biblical proportions
Often requires gymnastic contortions.
But Enos was a man quite clever
And disappoint a gal he’d never.
His body he’d twist in amazing distortions.
 
File:Pompeya erótica5.jpg
The host with the most. Enough to make a T-rex (or congress critter) jealous. Mercury – well-endowed to say the least. 
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He had to invent a new position.
So blessed he was with ammunition.
To please the gals in every way
From a chandelier he’d often sway
And leave the gals in burned out condition.
.
Five at a time he could not endure
So Enos returned to his usual four.
The gals would shriek with joyous thrill
So completely did he eagerly fulfill.
Alas not Enos but his penis did the gals adore.
.
Enos of course was a politician
Whose job in DC was submission
Of all women compliant
Till he met one defiant
Who revealed his sins of commission.
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Enos of course was sent packing
His work in the House sorely lacking
The voters rebelled
From his seat they expelled
Poor Enos as the whip they were cracking.

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Another Reagan myth busted. There are so many who can keep up. This latest is that as president he achieved $3.00 in spending cuts for every $1.00 of tax increases. See the myth-busting article from the Washington Post if anything at all about Reagan still interests you.

My own personal very favorite fable is the one about the “welfare queen.” Of course, there was never such a thing – not even one. No one has found one to this day. It was simply a delusion that existed in Reagan’s aging mind.

Another doozy was the one about the family farms being foreclosed due to inheritance taxes. Again, not a single one was ever found. Yes, small farms were shut down but largely due to unpaid debt accumulated because of the inability of the family farmer to compete with huge corporate agricultural conglomerates. Many farmers simply sold off the land for the same reason.

The most egregious is the myth that Reagan was a “great” president. From the perspective of the 1% perhaps. And it is worshipers from among this group who are hyping the “greatness” thing.

For many of the rest of us, Reagan’s policies did nothing but great harm. If there is any greatness to this former president in lies in that harm. For the beginning of middle and working class decline originated in Reagan’s administrations.

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Some limericks posted to http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/category/limerick-offs/

A woman who always wore blue
Gave the guys a colorful view.
She donned a new thong
And turned on a throng
Of Frenchmen who gasped “O mon Dieu.”
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A fellow who always wore blue
Till it grew to a hue he would rue.
Never ever a prude
He pranced around nude
Saying blue never got me a screw.

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TCBY – The Country’s Best Yogurt – is going down the tubes. It has closed 1,372 stores after a 2008 bankruptcy with only 405 remaining. Guess that’s why you don’t see so many. They used to be everywhere.

But what can you expect with competition from the likes of Sweet Frog, a rapidly growing yogurt chain.

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Newport, CT.

A tragic day. It’s our fault too. We’re sorry.