Posts tagged ‘Washington Post’

November 26, 2011

Corker Pops Corker, Wins Prize

Pasta Fagioli, Italy. 

Nobella Committee Announces Two Awards.

The right wing Washington Post published an article by Sen. Bob Corker, a real doozy, in which the senator from Tennessee placed Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae at the heart of the housing bubble.

Bob Corker discusses economic and housing mark...

Corker uncorks a corker, a real doozy. Image via Wikipedia

Corker claimed that government policies forced the two secondary mortgage giants to buy up all the subprime mortgages they could rake in.

Government officials, according to a spokesman, threatened executives of Fan and Fred with torture if they failed to support the subprime market. It is even rumored that officials imprisoned the big wigs in Gitmo where they subjected them to such tortures as waterboarding and solitary confinement for days on end.

Witnesses attest that executives and their CEOs fiercely resisted attempts by government to force the leaders of Fannie and Freddie to earn millions upon million of dollars in salaries and bonuses.

Their resistance however finally broke down under duress of torture and the executives accepted the riches forced upon them by government.

Because of their resistance to government coercion, the CEOs of Fannie and Freddie have been awarded The Schmuckup Prize by the Nobella Prize Committee of Pasta Fagioli, Italy. The committee awarded a similar prize to Sen. Corker. 

The foregoing is a corker but truth be told it doesn’t come from Sen. Corker. Corker popped his own corker and you can read it in the GOP journal still known as the Washington Post.

Winners of The Schmuckup Award receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize. In addition, winners are given the coveted statuette called The Little Schmucky engraved with the words “Schmucked up beyond all reason.” The Little Schmucky is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard. All prizes are awarded while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winners supplies just ran out.